Sunday, March 13, 2005

Life teaches you things.........part 2

I promise todays post will not be as long........

mmmkay. Now I know that I need to forgive my ex before I can move on!! Period point blank...But where do I begin? I thought about this all day yesterday. Do I write a letter?Do I e-mail him? Do I wait until he comes here to visit the boys? He will be leaving Iraq soon and before he goes back to Italy(where he is stationed) he will come here to see the boys for a week or so.

It has been five years since I found out about his affair and child and I used it each and everytime we fought about any and everything. It was my weapon...but now I realize that the only person I was hurting was myself. I was just keeping the pain going when I needed to just let it go!!!

So today i'm letting it go!! I can't hold on to past hurt forever!! I gotta let go of that baggage cause i'm sick and tired of holding on to's been poisoning my spirt long enough!!!

I begin forgiving him today.............


Blogger ShellyP said...

Forgiveness is never easy but I applaud you for being proactive about moving on. Just keep imagining the freedom you'll feel when you've really put it behind you!

Thanks for visiting my blog!

10:22 AM  
Blogger YouToldHarpoTaBeatMe said...

Write a letter, and make a copy for yourself. At least this way, your words won't get twisted, and you'll have a reminder of taking your 'FIRST STEP'. :o)

2:27 PM  
Blogger Myrah said...

I'm so glad you are doing better today! This below was very helpful to me when I had lots of forgiving to do!!! You can do it! Don't let it poison your body will illness. He isn't worth it. What he did does not determine your self worth.


Elder Richard G. Scott states,

“Forgiveness ... can be hard to understand, even more difficult to give. Begin by withholding judgment Leave the handling of aggressors to others. As you experience an easing of your own pain, full forgiveness will come more easily.” (1992)

It should be understood that forgiving the "perpetrator" does not represent condoning the offense. While forgiveness does not pardon the "perpetrator", it does much in healing the offended individual by freeing them from burdens of the past.

Elder Scott also states:

“You cannot erase what has been done, but you can forgive.” Forgiveness heals terrible tragic wounds, for it allows the love of God to purge your heart and mind of the poison of hate. It cleanses your consciousness of the desire for revenge. It makes place for the purifying, healing, restoring love of the Lord...Bitterness and hatred are harmful. They produce much that is destructive. They postpone the relief and healing you yearn for. (1992)

With forgiveness, past offenses no longer dictates or controls thoughts, emotions, and behavior in the present. Indeed, forgiveness may be the essential ingredient in helping move the individual from the role of “victim” to that of any other “child of God.”

2:42 PM  
Blogger Schatzi said...

I think that this is the hardest step. I'm glad you are feeling better today and are able to get this out. I think that if you write all your feelings down and then either email or mail him a copy, you'll feel so much better also. ((HUGS))

10:24 AM  
Blogger notyouraverage.... said...

to me, forgiveness is about letting go of 'me' - no longer asking why it happened to you, etc.. and just releasing hurt and anger and choosing to move on. a similar thing happened to me ( here. i don't think you have to forgive him face to face/ that's it's necessary to tell him you forgive him - but there can be closure in doing that. it hurts way more - holding on. good luck!

12:34 PM  
Blogger Margaret said...

I you don't feel comfortable with telling him how you least write it down. Writing is therapy.

1:28 AM  
Blogger Dee said...

Thanks so much for the great advice ladies... I have thought about it and I will write him a letter...I will give it to him when he comes to visit the boys. I will wait until he leaves and let him read is on the plane......

7:08 AM  
Blogger Rhonda said...

Girl - I give you mad props. Its not easy to let go but then when you finally do you are like - "what took so long" congrats on your accomlishment. I am for the letter all the way. Words come out so easily in a letter. Good Luck!

10:05 AM  

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