Friday, April 29, 2005

your gift is your presence......not presents

I have a really good friend who's partners b-day is today. Friends birthday is Saturday. They are doing dinner and drinks tonight and going to L.A. for friends b-day tomorrow. when I got the message on my cell about the plans, I called friend back and left a message saying "friend I can't make it on Friday and I can't go Saturday either...I'm sooo broke right now" He called me back and said "friend, you have to go....it is not a party with out you......Willie would be sad if you didn't come celebrate with us!!" I replied I can't let you pay for my dinner and drinks on your day!!! He replied "it's not my day til Saturday" Then I said I can't even afford a gift and he replied "DEE YOUR PRESENCE IS ALL THE GIFT WE NEED"

DAM THAT MADE ME FEEL REALLY GOOD!!!!

It is sooo nice having "real"friends!!! Friends that love you for you!
I have since got 3 calls from people threatining me that if i'm not at "lips" tonight at 6:30 there will be trouble!!!

I really need to work on me.......I feel I HAVE to have gifts for my friends on their birthdays>>> I'm big on birthdays.....I can't just go with a card in hand............or can I?

Wednesday, April 27, 2005

. assistants day......

Today is the day we honor the gals/guys who answer all our calls. Take all our messages. Cover and tell angry folks we are at lunch. Give bill collectors the run around...Or is that just in my office? LMAO Paper clipping, hole punching, faxing, letter opening, chart prepping,supply ordering shit taking secretaries.

With out them (we have 7 in our clinic) I would not be able to do my job with the ease and the grace of a true "nurse diva". I appreciate all they do cause I sure as fu*k wouldn't be able to do what they do Monday thru Friday!!

Yesterday....yeah i'm last minute...I went around to all the Dr.s here and collected all the cash I could. I left my house at 6a.m. this morning got flowers and cards for them. Every year I try and do something for them. They have the toughest jobs here.

I hope all of you remember your secretaries, administrative guys and gals cause without them, all our jobs would S.U.C.K the big one!!!!

If you are one....have a great day and I hope you are appreciated at your place of biddness....

Tuesday, April 26, 2005

forgive and move on......

Thanks to all of the blog fam for the great advice. I really needed the kind comments.
A while back I realized and posted abput my need to forgive my husband for the things he did. I know that I can not move on and be happy until I do that. I realize that i'm still hurt and the pain will not allow me to move foward. If I begin to forgive him, I will begin to be on the road toward my own happiness...Am I right?

I'm going to work on it.....One day at a time................................

Sunday, April 24, 2005

Count my blessings....

Last week I got a call from my ex-husband. The divorce is almost final even though we have been "seperated" for three years. He called to tell me that he may be getting a really big promotion at work. I said "good for you, I hope you get it" it was very dry and not very heartfelt. I then said "all the good shit happens for you" then I told him I had to go cause I was late for work. He said"Dee you have good things happen to you. You do a great job HOLDING IT DOWN. You take good care of the boys." It just didn't mean much coming from him.

All the way to work I cried....I cried hard....shit i'm starting to cry as I type this...let me go get tissue....hold on....................I cried because I was not happy for him. I know I was wrong and felt REALLY bad! I felt bad because of the way I was feeling......I don't wish him any bad luck but dam....He keeps having "good luck"!! That hurts...Really hurts. He fucked up our marriage and now he keeps having good shit happen! It just doesn't seem fair. I struggle to do the day to day shit. He lives in Italy. I seem to always have to worry about MONEY. I never hear him complain about money. When he comes to visit the boys he takes them out and buys them shit that I can not compete with. When the teenager calls him and asks for something....just like that he deposits the money into my account and I give it to him. That makes me sad because I can't always give the boys what they "want" I can only supply their NEEDS! I can come up with an occaisional WANT, but I simply provide the basics...money for school everyday, clothes,food ,shelter,cable,utilities.....you all get my point.

Well by the tuime I got to work I looked like SHIT! I share a tiny lil office with boss lady so I couldn't avoid her. She immediately knew something was wrong and she asked me "Dee what's the matter? Is it the boys?" I told her that I felt bad that he is having all this good luck. I felt bad for not being happy for him and her only reply was "Dee I consider myself a good Christian woman but i'm mad at him for doing the things he did/does to you. I know i'm wrong but that's the way I feel. You have the right to feel the way you do. You are still hurt,still grieving and that's o.k." So I dried my tears and e-mailed him and apologized for the dry response and moved on with my day.

Later that night I was talking to a good girlfriend and I told her the story. She just listened while I went on and on about my struggles with money and raising the boys. She let me go on and on and then she said this:
"Dee you are blessed! Not with all the material things you think you need! You have 2 great kids who love you and are really GOOD kids. You have a great job with a boss who loves you. The people you work with like you and respect you as a nurse and their supervisor. You have good friends. You are always the life of the party. Even people I introduce you to often ask "where is Dee? Are you bringing Dee" Everybody likes you. You have a great personality and are sooo much fun to be around. You have so much going for you in your life but you don't realize it!!!STOP SEEKING THE MATERIAL AND THANK GOD FOR ALL YOUR BLESSINGS YOU HAVE RIGHT NOW!!! BECAUSE HE COULD TAKE IT ALL AWAY IN AN INSTANT.....
Yeah your husband may think he's on top of the world right now but you don't know God's REAL plan for him!!! He can brag about all his shit but HE DOESN'T HAVE YOU AND HE IS MISSING OUT ON THE BOYS DAY TO DAY GROWTH!!! YOU ARE BLESSED WITH THEIR PRESENCE EVERY SINGLE DAY!"

WOW! THE THINGS SHE SAID HIT ME LIKE A TON OF BRICKS!

I'M O.K AND I WILL BE JUST FINE!!
That's what a good friend is needed for. To make you realize things about yourself. To make you appreciate what you DO have instead of what you wish you had. She really made me remember to count my blessings!!!!!!!

Saturday, April 23, 2005

I luv Martini's....

Dearest Martini,
I sooo enjoy you...
Only with vodka........
never ever gin...............
shaken not stirred.............
gimlets are my Favorite........
that's with lime juice.....................
i'm savoring one now.................................
it's blue razzberry......................................................
YUMMY............................................................................
it's midnight on Friday why am I up drinking you?..........
oh yeah cause I woke up at 10 cause I went to bed at 7.................
besides i'm grown and fabulous.................................................................
back to you martini..........................................................................................
I luv your glasses, they come in really cute styles..............................................
I own a lot all colors and sizes......................................................................................
I love the sound the shaker makes when it's filled with ice and my mouth anticipates your goodness...........aaaw I messed up the pattern...shoot....
I like you "dirty" with lots and lots of olives...............................
when I go to "the martini bar" I need a WHOLE glass of olives to enjoy you.........................
I feel sooooo "diva" like when I hold you in your glass.............................................
except when i'm in the club and rude ass folks with no manners bump into me and I spill you on my gurlfriends supper cute outfit......ooops sorry, I got caught rambling...where was I?
Shit I think you have me just where you want me martini(s)......................
I'm buzzed......

I will get back to reading y'alls blogs cause i'm a better reader than writer when i'm being "martinied" LMAO

Thursday, April 21, 2005

Am I in the gym or on the runway?

I have just "re-discovered the gym. I have been going almost everyday. I go with my gurl sometimes and sometimes I go alone. Tuesday night I even took the boys....C.O.M.E.D.Y My teenager swears he is mr. muscles...I mean he is a big young man....he eats hella good...LOL The youngest kept saying "mom this treadmill stuff aint nothing" LMAO I said sweetie you are 12 and i'm not......we acctually had a good time. The teenager said "mom the guy said you can add me to your account for $15 a month...shoot that's nothing" I replied well when you come up with that nothing.....i'll gladly add you...lol

Last night i'm on my treadmill bored but determined to do my full hour....I look around and notice a lot of college aged people....there are a few pople my age and a few older folk. I wear whatever to the gym. I have 1 pair of "running" shoes...the rest of my tennis shoes are "cute" not really functuional....just you know cute all white K-swiss for the cute lil denim skirts.....pink and whit adidas for that pink lil tennis skirt.....you get my drift...I go to the gym in what ever....old t-shirts....old cut off sweats...hell if they were not so freakin tight, i'd be in the gym with my jean cut off's.......

I look around cause i'm really bored....(dam I need that I-pod). Why are theese heffas permed up? Wraps just bouncin and shit....Theees chicks got on NICE ass sweat suits with matching soes...i'm talking Puma...Adidas....Nike.......all the "name brand shit"

I ADMIT I AM A LABEL WHORE!!!!!
AT LEAST THAT'S WHAT MY FRIENDS SAY.........

I was like dam is this a fashion show? Should I go change? there is no way in hell lil miss prissy with the banging ass wrap is getting he sweat on.....YALL KNOW WE WILL NOT EVA.....EVA....EVA...EVA SWEAT OUT OUR "PERMS".........UNLESS THERE IS SOME "NAKEDNESS GOINGZ ON!! There are a lot of women there getting their workout on...in fact there are a few women that motivate me to just do that extra 5 minutes............I give them their "props"

What's up with the fashionista's? Or is it just me? Do I NEED A GYM WARDROBE?
Maybe they think that because

Tuesday, April 19, 2005

way to start the morning.......

My morning was up and down......

DOWN: I woke up a whole HOUR AND A HALF LATE!!! I'm always up at 5! Woke up at 6:30 and had to re-braid my 12 year olds hair.....DAM DAM DAM!!!!

UP: I finished his frenchbraids in RECORD TIME!!! One hour.....well I cheated and skipped 2 braids and just put a lil gel on them and tied a "doo-rag" on till we left...LOL

DOWN: he hands me forms to be filled out.....NO FORMS IN THE A.M....I have told my kids this since the day they freakin started school....I feel like mommy dearest "NO MORE WIRE HANGERS"

UP: turned on the videos an 95 south is on.......cotton candy sweet as gold let me see that tootsie roll...LMAO I danced the whole video the teenager joined in trying to out do me...ooohhh no he didn't....I had to show him my skills a la '94 LOL

DOWN: Not enough cash for the kids....they just had to get by with what I had on me...no time to stop at no bodies A.T.M... Hell we didn't get $3 daily....

THE BOTTOM: It took me one hour to find a fuc*ing parkin space at work...I didn't get in the office til 10!!! I'm pissed......

So what's the 1st thing I do when I get to my desk? I post about it......LMAO

I think i'm addicted y'all!!!!

Monday, April 18, 2005

When does a friendship need to end? *its a lil long*

How do you know when to end a friendship?

Do you seperate yourself from said person and wait to see what happens?

Do you sit this person down and tell them all the things that bother you about them?

Do you write out a list of all the positive and negative things they bring to your life?

Do you pray about it and talk it over with God?
well duh....of course you talk it over with God....

I'm stuck right now.....I've tried to distance myself somewhat but it's a little hard cause we run in the same "circle". We have quite a few mutual friends. One of my closest bestest friends just moved in right next door to her.

Let's start with the positive:
She is fun to hang out with:
I know I will have fun with her no matter what we do...even just sitting around watching a chick flick.....
she is generous at times:
She realizes that I live paycheck to paycheck and i'm a "single" mom
She makes me laugh:
even when I want to cry.....she can find some humor somewhere...when my baby was in the emergency room last year diagnosed with seizures...she pretended we were lesbians...she was sooo realistic when the nurse came to get me to go up to radiology she said "come on up with me MOMS"
She always braids my hair for FREE:
thoose of you that wear braids know how "pricey" they can be....french braids.......individuals....micro braids.....CHAA-CHING$$$$
When i'm down, she always reminds me of my many blessings:
when I cry broke or complain about ANYTHING she replies"Girl you could be me"...."you have a great job/boss"....

THE NEGATIVE:

She talks about EVERYBODY"S business:
I know everybody's business.....she tells shit she probably no she shouldn't.....
I usually just try and change the subject.....

She is always putting people down:
This is her family, mutual friends, co-workers
I try and discourage that for the most part.....

The girl I met her through is no longer a friend.....I cut her off about a year ago for various reasons. She constantly talks shit about this chick but is with her FEQUENTLY!!!
This bugs the hell outta me because I don't care if they are friends but just don't call me and tell me how nasty,dirty,what a bad mom she is etc...etc...then call me from her house....
Hey a light bulb just went off.....some of the very reasons I cut the other chick off are some of the same reasons that i'm thinking of terminating our friendship!!! WOW THIS BLOGGING HELPS!!!

she doesn't have custody of her four kids:
this bugs me more than anything else.....to get into why she doesn't have them is a WHOLE LONG POST....without getting into details...her mom has all four of them....has had them for almost 6 years....she RARELY ever visits them.....she doesn't provide for them financially(except for what the state takes for child support)
I could go on and on but I think y'all get my point.

She sometimes makes comments about the thing I buy:
If I say i'm broke she will say "you shouldn't have bought all thoose expensive ass purses" I usually just say"my bills are paid and my kids have what they need and I DON'T SMOKE!! That will shut her up.....

SHE LIVED WITH ME FOR A WHOLE 13 MONTHS AND NEVER PAID ONE DAM BILL:
She works two jobs(child support eats up most of her main paycheck) her 2nd job is part-time and she braids lots of heads.....
Before y'all say "WELL DEE YOU LET HER LIVE WITH YOU FOR FREE"
she moved in with me to save money to buy a car...got the car and had a accident...totaled the car and could work for about 8 weeks.......
When she got back on her feet....I just wanted her to get her shit together cause I was feeling the strain of having to see her shop all the time and get her hair done every week while I was living paycheck to paycheck...
Karma is already taking care of that though cause she is having a really hard time with her roomate now...

I love her don't get me wrong......I just don't like a lot of her ways...is that wrong? Are we supposed to love our friends just the way they are and not try and turn them into "clones" of us?

I really look foward to some help...suggestions










Sunday, April 17, 2005

Why don't people"PARENT" any more????

Yesterday was a great day!! Even though I ditched a baby shower I was supposed to attend.....I couldn't afford to get a gift(a decent one anyway)...I only like to give things that I would want to recieve myself....ya know? She is having twins...that's 2 gifts......

I slept in.....8:30....yes sir- ree-bob....i'm not joshing y'all either.....maybe it was due to the fact that I was out til 3ish....no I was not doing the "grown-up"......Maybe it was due to the massive amount of Martinis...... Me and my girl from Vegas went out cause she is in town for the next few days for biddness.....so I got up andI didn't clean one dam thing cept for my body...LOL.....My friends called me to go to lunch at around 11 so we met and went to Applebee's for some viddles and drinks....What better way to fix a mild hangover? After lunch I was a good mom and picked the boys up food from their favorite spot and delivered....then went to my friends house and watched/napped through the Incredibles......low and behold...I awoke to the smell of barbeque a cooking...my friends boyfriend had invited people over and they were grilling......Dam I love it when I'm in the right place at the right time...LOL

People start showing up and more and more food,drinks....we play cards talk a lil shit we are all having a great time until...........................my girlfriend's daughter gets dropped off by grandma. My guy friends just moved right next door to my best girlfriend...it's a duplex so they are connected......the girl is baaaad...really mouthy....tooo mouthy to be 6........first when there are cocktails a flowin,Kids should not be present!!!!!! 2nd: when there is shit talking going on, Kids should not be present!!!! 3rd: when there are 8 adults cursing like sailors, KIDS SHOULD NOT BE PRESENT!!!
O.k so y'all get the picture...her ass SHOULD NOT HAVE BEEN THERE!! My momma used to always say and I quote "I don't give a dam if ONE person comes over....that is company and before they get their coat off.......you should be GONE!!) I raise my boys the same way....as soon as the greetings are exchanged my boys know to dissappear.....POOF...gone......

Not only was this girl there and making her presence felt.......she was talking back to her mom(she doesn't live with her she lives with her grandma...that's a whole seperate post)...she was talking back to everyone.....so my friends that were hosting the barbeque said "Dee i'm gonna give her 5 minutes and i'm gonna have to say something"
Well finally she got picked up and was gone but mind you she had left quite the impression on everybody....we were sitting around the bon fire and one of my girlfriends spoke up and said"your daughter is BAD" My girlfriend had the nerve to be a lil offended!!! A couple of other people agreed...."she is"...."I would have put her in check" "she should have been in the room watching cartoons" etc...etc...y'all get the picture....

One episode that really pissed me off is when my friend told her to stay away from the fire she yelled back(well not really yelling to some but to me a kid needs to use a certain voice when speaking to an adult...lol) "I'm trying to go find my mother" O.k to me that's waaayyy too much....I told your bad ass to stay away from the fire and there is no need for a response....PERIOD!!!! When we called her on it, my friend had the nerve to say "she is just expressing herself" What the fuck??? Maybe i'm old school but....kids don't have no business expressing shit but school work!!! They can express hunger, fatigue and shit like that....but there is noooooo way my boys would ever, eva... eva.... eva.... speak to any adult in a loud voice! Wheter it be a family friend or a total stranger!!!

I wanted to tell her about herself but you can't tell folks shit about their kids!!! Now if we were in CASA DE DEE..... SHE WOULD HAVE BEEN SET STRAIGHT FROM THE MOMENT THEY ENTERED THE PREMISES!!!! But since it was not my crib I just sat quietly and minded my own biddness...............of course the convo turned to my boys cause most of the people there had none themselves so they use my kids a lot to compare..."Dee's boys are good" Dee's boys are well mannered" I only met Dee's son's once but they were really polite" "I like Dee's son's"
Now y'all don't think i'm bragging please don't take it the wrong way........
I JUST "RAISE MY KIDS!!!" I PARENT THEM.......THAT'S MY JOB!!!!
sorry this is such a looong post but it's something important to me.......

Maybe I am a lil "old school" but it worked for us.......I raise my boys the same way..................
I was really sad, disappointed in her...there were sooo many episodes in a 3 hour period...I don't want to bore y'all to death but last night's events really bothered me!!

~this friend just happens to be the friend that i'm thinking of seperating myself from~

Friday, April 15, 2005

Oh yeah I forgot......

April 15th...................THE DAY THE I.R.S. STICKS THE BIG ONE IN ME WITH NO VASELINE!!!!!!!

I ALWAYS OWE....ALWAYS....I WAIT TIL THE LAST MINUTE TO FILE........

Shot out to MS.JAZZ for giving the link to the I.R.S to file for an extension....Y'all know I don't know how to link.................thanks Ms. Jazz cuz I 4got I needed to file today!!!

Just a whole bunch of shit......

I have a lot of random shit on my mind....here it goes.....

I have a friend that I want to seperate myself from....she was/is considered one of my BEST Friends.......We have been friends for about 3 years now and she lived with me for 13 months just moving out in September/October...another post!! She is negative...in my 36th year of life...I want to seperate myself from all things negative......We do a lot together but lately I have just been trying to "distance" myself from her........Shot out to Ms. Nikki for her post on "the company you keep" post....Sorry Ms. Nikki...I don't know how to link folks to your site....I'm not computer saavy....LOL
How do I tell her i'm not really happy in our friendship? I luv her for who she is but....all the negative shit is really fucking with me.....I realized it when we were in Vegas....any suggestions?

...................SWITCH.................

Why are my co-workers sooooo fucking lazy? Why do they think they don't have to do what the University of San Diego pays them to do? Why do they think they can get away with telling "boss lady" what they will and will not do? Why do they think they can come and go when they freakin please? Does anyone have any work ethics?


.......................SWITCH........................................

why did I see some one throw money in the street to a homeless man as I was getting off the freeway this morning.....Why did that bother me so much......I understand he was in the far lane but for him to throw it in the street....balled up....that really bothered me......

........................SWITCH.............................

why are none of the jobs my teenager applied for calling him back? He applied for quite a few fast food jobs as well as some retail jobs as well....no calls back.....he is sooooo discouraged....All I can do is tell him..."SON THAT'S WHY YOU HAVE TO GO TO COLLEGE!!"

...............................SWITCH...........................................

Why am I getting such a kick out of typing "switch" all big and bold?
I acctually bit this from someones blog....I told her I was gonna use it.....so I guess i'm not really bitting!!

Well I guess that's all for now I better get to work.....Have a great Friday!!!!!!

Thursday, April 14, 2005

I must be getting OLD!!

Dam I must be getting old!!! I went over my girlfriends house last night to get my hair french braided. She had a few girls there and I didn't know one of them she was a friend of her "new" roomate....The new roomate is 23....everytime I come over she tries to make small talk...What do we have in common besides breathing...LOL but I try and be polite....Anywayz last night the roomate and her friend were chit-chatting and giggles bugging the fu#k out of me.......When out of no where the roomates friend walked up to me and said "EXCUSE ME MAAM, I'M SORRY I DIDN'T GET YOUR NAME" Yeah you heard me right that heffa called me maam!!! Dam do I look that old? Or was she just really really high....maybe she was being respectful.....but dam DO I LOOK LIKE A MAAM TO 22 YEAR OLDS??? After she peeped that I didn't take it too well....she replied "I will just call you Auntie D" I am 14 years older than her but could I be her freakin aunt?? I said sweetie just call me Dee....LOL My girlfriend was laughing her ass off!!!

Young men still hit on me...they say I pass for 27...lol........Maybe they are just trying to get the panties....LMAO

I wish I knew how to post a pic I think I look good for having a 17 year old son....My sons female friends always say "Ms. Dee you look cute....that's a cute outfit" You get the picture...

Why did Ms. 22 year old calling me maam make me feel old?
How do my 30 something readers feel? How would you take that?

Wednesday, April 13, 2005

Was that an earthquake?

We had an earthquake at about 4 a.m yesterday morning. It was a 4.o.... It felt like an explosion not the "normal" rolling type feeling....The funny thing is my teenage son yelled down the hall "mom was that an earthquake?" I said yeah....he replied "wake me up if we have to do something" I laughed my ass of and thought.....we have lived in Cali too dam long!!!! My youngest son didn't even budge.....LOL! When he woke up to get ready for school he heard us talking about it......he replied "Mom I didn't feel nuthin" LOL

Monday, April 11, 2005

Is there such a thing as too much fun?

Three girlfriends
+
Two days of fuN/TOO MANY DRINKS
=
ONE TIRED DIVA!!


I HAD SOO MUCH FUN Y'ALL.......IT'S JUST WHAT I NEEDED! THANKS FOR ALL THE COMMENTS/WELL WISHES.........

Friday, April 08, 2005

WHAT HAPPENS IN VEGAS.............

I have had soo much grief and heartbreak the past month. What better way to take my mind off of things than to head to Las Vegas for the weekend!!!!

One of my best girlfriends lives 5 minutes from the strip....no hotel to worry about.....

I don't really gamble.......don't need much money.....

I just gotta gas it up and I'm on my way....(played hookey from work LOL)

A nice weekend clubbing and drinking with two of my bestest girls......

JUST WHAT THE DR. ORDERED!!!!!

Y'all have a great weekend.......I sure will!!!!

Wednesday, April 06, 2005

I stand to be corrected...i'm not perfect

I was just reading my comments because I always do...I'm like to read other peoples responses to what I write. Someone corrected me because I called the after funeral gathering "repass". OOPS....this anonymous person corrected me it's "repast". This got me thinking........

The reason I started this "blog" thing is because I enjoy reading other peoples blogs...so after a few months of "blog-surfing" I decided to give it a try. I know i'm not the best at spelling and grammar but i'm real...I never claimed to be a writer either...I never use spell check or anything like that....

I guess what i'm trying to say in the kindest way I know how is....Why do folks feel the need to correct other peoples shit? If I wanted to mispell every fucking word here, would anonymous have a fit? Going through with a fine tooth comb....

Over the past few weeks I have seen a couple of my favorite bloggers be corrected/criticized and ripped a new asshole in the comment section........sad....

LIGHTEN UP PEOPLE!!! This is supposed to be fun!
Maybe i'm blowing it out of proportion but when I read that comment it really got me thinking............Maybe it's the blue razzberry martini's i'm having....LOL

I'm not here to make enemies.....I would never correct anyones post...but hey,
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~EVERYONE IS DIFFERENT~~~~~~~~~~

Tuesday, April 05, 2005

I KNOW EVERYBODY IS DIFFERENT BUT DAM....

THANKS TO EVERYONE WHO SENT OUT PRAYERS AFTER MY GRANDMA'S PASSING~
I REALLY APPRECIATE ALL YOU KIND WORDS..........

NOW BACK TO BIDDNESS AS USUAL.......

Why did my cousin who was having the repass at her house arrive 1 hour late?
for thoose of you saying "what the hell is a repass" it's where after the funeral you go to someones house and eat and drink. There are memories shared, hopefully good ones.

Why did she ride with me so that she could "show me" where she lived and she asked me to stop at the store for milk. Why did she come out with a shit load of groceries?
some of the shit wasn't even in bags...cans of green beans rolling around in the trunk bagless. There is a grocery store in Chicago called Aldi's. you "supposedly" save money by bagging your own shit......she must have save a grip cause shit was falling out of the truck when I opened the trunk.....

How come when we pulled up to her house, there were 20 hungry faces mean muggin me?
How the hell was I supposed to know she was going to shop for the meal after the funeral....

Why did she direct us all to her cold ass basement while she "set-up" the food?
an hour and a half later.....she didn't even offer us a dam chip.....

Why was the turkey and potato salad my other grandma made, the only thing anyone ate?
besides the store bought cake and the popeyes chicken.....

How come there were over 20 people and only 3 people brought food one of them being my other grandma who is not even related to them folks?
I got tired of my grandma saying "see Dee I told you I should have made 2 turkeys"

How come everytime introduced my grandma to someone they had a stupid ass look on their face?
Dam my dad didn't make me by his self.....I do have a momma.................

WHY IS IT THAT THE TWO SIDES OF YOUR FAMILY(maternal/paternal) ARE ALWAYS LIKE NIGHT AND DAY?
CANT THERE BE SOME SORT OF BALANCE?

WHY IS IT THAT EVERYONE ALWAYS ASKS FOR YOUR ADDRESS BUT NEVER USE IT?
my grandma that passed was my only "real" link to that side of the family...if it were not for her, I wouldn't know any of them...my dad (rest his soul) sure as hell didn't take me to meet any cousins, aunts etc...etc...

WHY DOES EVERYONE THINK CALIFORNIA IS SOME "MAGICAL" PLACE?
"girl I just ave to get out there to see you" I've been here 12 years not one person on my dad's side has ever made it out here!!!

WHY DID MY COUSIN HAND ME MY GRANDMA'S REMAINS IN THE CHURCH DIRECTLY AFTER THE SERVICE?
DAM SHE COULDN'T WAIT TIL WE GOT IN THE FUCKIN PARKING LOT? HAVE SOME TACT!!!! SHE ALSO COMMENTED THAT NO ONE "WANTED" THEM....Them being the remains

O.k i'm done .......don't think my "other" side of the family is "perfect!!!They are faaar from perfect! But they do handle things a lot differently................................



Monday, April 04, 2005

SWEET HOME....CHICAGO

I left on Thursday at 2:30 to go home to my Grandma's funeral....I got the call at 10:45 a.m that my ticket was paid for..........It sucks depending on other people!!!! That's all I have to say about that!!

Thanks to everyone for their prayers and support!!! I really appreciate you all~

Being home is the bestest feeling.....Too bad the last two times have been for funerals...My dad in November and now his mom.......

There is something soo comforting about being home with your family....I slept with my grandma( she fought it but I won...lol) I laughed with all my uncles until my stomach ached...I didn't feel much like visiting cause I was really sad about my grandma's death....I ate and ate and ate....all the things I can't get here in Cali...that's a whole seperate post....

My family was really supportive of my loss....even though it was my dad's side of the fam....i've always been closer to my mom's side of the family...hell that's another post too!!

My grandma helped me get through a very rough time this weekend...sent me home with a lot of shit.....but hey, that's what grandma's do.......

The worst part of the trip was getting delayed at O'hare airport because I was bringing my grandma's remains home..........I had to bring her home with me cause no one wanted them.....so I am her next of kin cause my dad was an only child and he's gone...my grandfather is demented......

At 1st I was freaked out about it but then I was acctually honored/relieved because I know she's happy!

There are at least three more posts to come as a result of:

1.....black folks not being prepared
2.....relatives not being on time
3.....people not doing what they should