Sunday, July 31, 2005

THE TRUTH AND NUTHIN BUT THE TRUTH!!!

SORRY IT TOOK ME SOOOO LONG TO ANSWER.

Friday I was off work! A friend retired from the Marine Corps after 20 years of service. We attended his retirement ceremony at 8 on Friday morning. Then we went to breakfast and had mimosas, oh and breakfast. By noon we were at the bar..........well I have to say, I had a B.A.L.L. I have always thought when I see folks coming or going into bars during daylight hours......What the hell are they doing in a bar at noon???? Well hell Friday, that was us!!!! We left the bar at 4:30. I went home took a little nap....woke up at 8:30 to hang out with the gurls. Satuday I slept....all dam day!!! T.I.R.E.D.

O.k now for the answers....................

BRANDI ASKED:
1: would I marry again?

Yes I would marry again. I love the idea of marriage. The comfort.

2: What if my ex wanted to come back to me?

unless his ass comes attached to a lie detector that can not ever be removed!!!!
Without trust.....you have N.O.T.H.I.N.G. I don't trust him!! He lied and continued to lie after he was busted!!! HELL TO THE NAW!!! As Whitney Houston would say.........

3: My biggest vice?

Purses!!!! Purses and more purse!!! From COACH to the little bags they put your bath and body works lotion in!!! I LOVE PURSES!!!! Shoes come in 2nd!!!


MECRAZYME ASKED:

1: Do I plan to get my date on?

Yeah I call myself doing it now........it's not fun!!! I keep running into all theese WHACKTASTICK men!!!

2:The last time I had wonderful sex?

My ex "THE LIAR" picked me up after work. He had rented a suite. Brought ALL his flicks......a bottle of Grey Goose.......a couple of pieces from Victorias Secret......Did I mention the F.L.I.C.K.S? We had a freakin flick watchingIcandowhattheyaredoingbetter MARATHON!!! No kids no cell phones Did I mention the flicks?

3: My fetish?

I don't really have a fetish. But I will tell you what turns me on like crazy.........A smell good man!!! I mean really smell good!!! Sometimes I can get so caught up in his scent....I almost forget what he looks like!!! ALMOST!!!!!

NIA ASKED:

1: What would I do if the ex gained full custody of the boys?

1st off I would probably be rich selling ice skates in HELL cause it would have frozen over!!! LOL No he would never ever try and F@#K with my boys cause everyone knows especially his ass....my boys are my life!!! If the shit did hit the fan....we would move to Mexico.....yo hablo espanol.

2: Have I ever been deeply in love? Passionately in love?

no to deeply in love. Married all thoose years....sad.....I loved him because of the time....the boys....and other reasons. Passionately...I thought I was with the "LIAR"

MS. NIKKI ASKED:

1: What am I most afraid of?

I am afraid for my sons futures. What kind of men they will become. Will they be successful? Will they be good men with good values?

2:What color sheets do I have on my bed?

I have sheets with lil palm trees all over them.

3: what is the 1st thing I do in the morning?

I make my bed 1st. Well I guess it's a tie cause I thank God for letting me see another day!!

KELZZ ASKED:

1: My biggest fetish?

I don't really have one. I luv a "smell good man" that does turn a sistah on!!!

2: Where do I see myself in the next 2 years?

I would like to be in love with an honest man!! Advanced in my career.

3: The red pill or the blue pill from the Matrix?

I have never seen the Matrix......don't laugh y'all But the blue pill i'm thinking of enhances sexual performance................so give me the BLUE PILL!!!!

MEP ASKED:

1: If I could remove one persons influence from history, who would it be and why?

This one really had me thinking. The person/persons who thought it was a good idea to rip Africans from their country and sell them into slavery. I don't have to get into the why....shit that's a whole post...... GREAT question!!! got my mind off of sex!!! LOL

2:If I could be the Queen, Prime minister or President of any country. Where and why?

Dam another good question!!! I would be the President of the African country that is most in need as far as the AIDS crisis/epidimic. I would do something FAST as far as treatment/intervention!!! It's scary and very, very sad!!!

3: My best quality? Why?

I think it is that I am out going/friendly. If that is considered a quality. Why because I am a "people person" and I can/will start a conversation wherever with whomever!!! I am the ice breaker....party starter!!! LOL

MSNHIM ASKED:

1:How old was I when I had my 1st sexual encounter?

I was 16. I had been with my boyfriend since 13. He was older than me. All my girlfriends were all doing the "DO" I made him wait cause I was terrified of getting pregnant!!! Being the product of a 14 year old.

2: Strangest place I have had sex?

we would have a friend lock us inside this "storage" room on board his ship when he had duty( he couldn't leave). I loved it cause we had to "sneak" Then we had to wait to get let out....oooohhh the excitement!!!!

3: What would I absolutely not do sexually?

uuuummmm I will not do anything that hurts!!!! No animals or crazy shit like that!!!! anything else goes...........

AZIZA ASKED:

1: Why nursing?

I wrote a long post a few weeks ago. I wrote it on Nurses Day! I became a nurse because of the compassion and kindness that was showed to me when my youngest son spent the 1st 6 months of his lil life in the N.I.C.U. He was born extremely premature. 1# 9 ozs. If I can touch even a few peoples lives.....It is all worth it!!!

2: My hopes and dreams for my boys?

I hope they grow up to be happy, responsible, kind men. I want them to be the best they can be!!! Hey that's a whole post!!! Thanks Ms. Aziza.....

3:My hopes and dreams for me?

Home ownership? NOPE!! Wealth? Naaw!!!! I JUST WANT TO BE HAPPY!!! Really happy!!! I can't remember a time when I can honestly say I was really.....really happy!!!! Sure my boys bring me joy........but I haven't been happy in a long time!!!

SONYARED ASKED:

1: My hair color?

I am plain Jane.....just black!!! I dye it jet black to cover the grays!!! Now my style varies from week to week!!!

2: would I be a consultant for the potatoe sack venture?

HELL YEAH!!! I would rock the sacks and hook them up....no sewing needed. I am creative when it comes to no sew alterations!! I buy the "stich witchery" iron on tape and it's on!!! Everybody would want one!!!! "OOH SHE IS ROCKING THAT SACK"

3:What music am I listening to?

Tweet....she helped, is helping me get over the "LIAR" I've been playing her since March.......I know get over his ass!! I am almost ashamed to say I have Mariah in the car..........at home.....I only play thge cable music stations cause I can go from old school rap to r & b to the blues!!!

LAMBCHOP ASKED:

1: Will I have more kids?

HELL TO THE NAW!!!!! shop is closed....I like to pretend to make babies!!! LOL

2:My craziest date?

I haven't had one. this dating is new to me cause after getting out of my marriage....i jumped right in with the "LIAR" so thecrazy date is yet to come!!! You know I will blog about it!!!!

3: my sexiest date?

going out and dancing ALL night!!! The chemistry was sooo nice!!! We danced like we were alone!!! Slow danced to fast songs....slow danced to all the songs!!! Not a lot of words were exchanged...just looked into each others eyes!!! It seemed like forever!!! then we went to his house and had a beautiful time!!!! WOOO WHOOO!!!

BUTTA ASKED:

1:If I could hang with any celeb. who would it be and why?

Maya Angelou. Her books introduced me to my LOVE of reading!!! When I hear her speak...I get goose bumps!!!!

2:If I could live anywhere in the world, where and why?

Today, I would say Hawaii...........I know it sounds boring but my mom is there. she has been living there for 2 years. I have not been to see her yet!!! As much as she drives me fucking crazy, I miss her!!! We have never been apart this long!!! When we moved to Cali....my mom moved here right behind us!!!! From Long Beach to San Diego.......right behind us!!!!

3:Coke or Pepsi?

I don't drink pop. Not even with my liquor........

o.k y'all this is taking long as hell!!! Y'all know i can't type........I'm gonna take a lil break and come back!!!! I think i'm half way done!!!!!

Wednesday, July 27, 2005

All about Dee.........just ask............

I dont really have shit to talk about today! I'm not sad anymore!!! I look at my neighbors door everytime I walk by and say a lil prayer for her babies!!!! Instead of continuing to greive.....I decided to enjoy/celebrate my life!!!! I give my boys extra hugs and kisses and remember to tell them how much I LOVE them!!!

I decided to let you all ask me THREE questions!!!! Anything you want!!!! Y'all know i'm not shy!!!! I will answer them by the end of the week!!!! I can't wait to see what y'all ask me!!!!

Happy Hump Day!!!!! Bring on the questions!!!!

Tuesday, July 26, 2005

Things really open your eyes......

after the tragic death of my neighbor. I have been in "cloud" so to speak! When something tragic happens....it shakes you!!! I am S.H.A.K.E.N. I have to make sure my boys know what to do if something should happen to me!!!! They didn't want to talk about it but we had to!!!!

I don't spend the night out often....when I do I always call James before he goes to bed!!! I tell him I will be home before he wakes up!!! I asked them both what would they do if ever they woke up and I was NOT in my room?.....What would they do if I was NOT AWAKE by noon? Do they know who to call 1st? Do they know how to call the Red Cross so the Navy can contact their dad who is in Italy. They need to know theese things cause we are here alone!!! We have good friends but no family!!! My best friends have all my family contact numbers......I A.L.W.A.Y.S. let someone know where i'm going....no matter how grown i'm trying to be!!! Even if I go out for a late nite "naked" call.....I let best friend know where i'm going...if it's too late I send her a text!!! All my friends know that if I do stay out....I get home before the boys wake up!!!!

Tragedy makes you look at things in a WHOLE new light!!! I can't stop living my life but it scares me!!!! I need to do my living will over again..........now that I am divorced!!!! What would happen to my babies if something tragic happened to me?

Sunday, July 24, 2005

Too close to home.........

One of my neighbors was killed yesterday!! We are not sure exactly what happened but the police were here all day yesterday. They had our whole comlex blocked off. I could throw a rock at her window from my porch! I didn't know her well she had only lived here a few months!!! We would speak in passing. She has left behind three beautifu kids. The younges, about two would always come to my door and say HI!!! I feel so sick....sad......afraid for the kids....two......seven and eleven I think!!! No one knows anything!!! The police knocked on my door last night asking if I heard anything around 5 a.m. yesterday morning. Sad just sad!!! My kids say that her kids tried to wake her up yesterday and she wouldn't get up!!!! The rumors are that her estranged husband broke her neck.......I'm sooo sad...it feels like a bad dream!!! She was too young to leave her kids behind........she always smiled and spoke!!!!! Now she's G.O.N.E.

I FEEL SOOO BAD FOR HER CHILDREN!!!!

Friday, July 22, 2005

Deception at it's finest!!!!

I have a wide variety of friends. White, Mexican, Asian, the whole melting pot. Some of my best friends are gay men. I have Lesbian friends as well as bi. I don't care what your sexual pref. is. I just care how you treat me as a friend. Who you sleep with me just doesn't matter!!!

Best friend has a cousin who just moved here from Oakland. She and her best friend moved here about two weeks ago. they visited us about 7 months ago and they liked San Diego soooo much they moved here!!! They are both hella cool to hang out with. FUNNY AS HELL!!! Jokes...shit more jokes than me!!! There is only one problem:

THEY ARE TRANSEXUALS!!!!

Yep you heard me right.......breast and DICKS!!!!! They both have more boobies than me....shit that's not hard though cause i'm a poor B cup!! LOL They wear more M.A.C. than I do! They dress really cute!!! Bad ass shoes and badder purses. And the accessories....L.A.W.D. They have great taste in earings, scarves, bags, shoes and belts.

So what's the problem? They have style......They are a lot of fun!!! The problem is they don't want to go to the "gay" clubs........they want to hang with us!!!! ALL THE TIME!!!! You see I have a real problem with them not telling men that they are M.E.N. I don't think that is cool!!!! San Diego is not small but it is......you know what I mean? The places I frequent I see the same people here and there!!! Small world!!!

They laugh and smile. Men buy them drinks and ask for their numbers. I Don't have a problem with that but they need to let theese men know that they have NUTS AND A DICK!!!! The incident that got to me was when we went out last weekend and one of my friends approached us.
Clueless: Dee who's your gurl? I never seen her before?

Me: that's best friends cousin. They just moved here from Oakland.

Clueless: Dee hook me up!!

Me: naaww I'm not in the biddness of match making

Clueless: c'mon Dee......let me and my boy take y'all to breakfast after the club.

Me: naaaw i'm cool

Clueless: well let's just go to my house for a few drinks.

Me: naaaw Clueless i'm cool!!!

He continued to try and push up on her/him ALL night. At the end of the night, she said "Dee are we gonna go to Clueless's house? Me and best friend said at the same time HELL NAW!!!! WE ARE GOING HOME!!!!!

THE PROBLEM IS THIS........I don't want to be a part of the trickery!!! Things could get really ugly!!! Once a man finds out he has been hoodwinked, led astray bamboozeled even, He might get a lil P.I.S.E.D. I don't want my car shot up or windows busted out!!!!!

I have had a few people ask me "is that a man"? "Is that what I think it is?" I go out to enjoy myself....I don't want to have to constanly explain their gender!!! You know? Best friend says I should just say nothing...........but saying nothing is saying it's O.K. right?

What do y'all think? This is really bothering me? Am I over reacting? Should I just keep my male friends away? Should I just stop kickin it with them? I feel really strong about DECEPTION AT IT'S FINEST!!!!!

Thursday, July 21, 2005

"Whacktastick" Flashback Friday

This is what I posted July 21st of last year. I thought I would flashback to what I was doing this time last year............

This is my new word of the week!

WHACK-TAS-TICK adj.

What is whacktastick? Let me give you examples!!!

I meet a guy. I have seen him out quite a few times. We frequent the same lil spot err now and then. I always give him a smile or a head nod. He approaches me and here is the convo.

was.cute: hey I have been checking you out for about a year now. I see you here and at the 94th

me: yeah i've seen you a few times too.

was.cute: are you married?

me: naaw divorced

was.cute: you have a man?

me: naw! not really looking.

was.cute: really? I always see you gettin a lot of attention from men.

me: really. I don't really think I get THAT much attention. I talk to people because i'm friendly. I come out to "socialize".

was.cute: I like your "style"

me: thanks I appreciate that. What's your status?

was.cute: well.........i'm married but we are S.E.P.E.R.A.T.E.D.

me: been there done that.......how long have you been apart?

was.cute: oh we still live together....we are just &^&%^#()+_)_(&*^&^**)_)+_)(*&^%$$##
that's all I heard like the Charlie Brown teacherWHOMP WHOMP WHOMP WHOMP!!!!

This negro is WHACKTASTICK!!!!

Seperation is exactly what it is..................SEPERATE!!!! Not living together!!!!
why would I in my new found singleness want to deal with your ass and your wife and kids?

I am no runway model....never claimed to be. I have style. My clothes always match. They are always clean. I am some what of a fashionista in my mind. Why do I get the slack wearing, jheri curl having, leisure.suit keeping,sweater.tucking.in.pants bruthas?

Does a brotha like me have a chance?

If you have to ask that question you are WHACKTASTICK!!!

I know you are out of my league, but I thought I would try to holla..
if you put women in leagues....you are WHACKTASTICK!!

Wednesday, July 20, 2005

THE NERVE!!!!

DUDE I HAVE BEEN GRACING WITH MY PRESENCE.....HAD THE NERVE TO CALL ME AT MIDNITE LAST NIGHT!!!!

He sent me a text 1st asking me to meet him at a club. I text him back saying naaww. I was already in bed (it was 10 already past my bedtime). We text back and forth then I went to sleep! I am a very light sleeper so when the phone vibrated at 11:oo I just ignored it.......then it rang at midnite...Iwas too tired and groggy to answer....then there was a text......I will have to R.E.A.D. his ass today!!!!

When did it become cool to call people after hours? I know I may be a lil old school but you are not supposed to call after 10 am I right? Unless it's your man or a booty call right?

Am I just old school?

I can not wait to tell him today!!!! If he doesn't come correct....I will tell him to lose my number!!!

Happy Wednesday y'all

Tuesday, July 19, 2005

Nothing much to talk about.............

I don't have nothing much to talk about today.

My WHOLE body is sore cause I jumped double dutch with some kids in my complex last night!!! They can't hang.........i jumped "daily" as a kid. We had fun....I think I had more fun than they did!!!! That workout was better than the gym!!!

Some lady called my cell last night.
me: hello
silly ass gurl: who is this?
me: the person you called!
silly ass gurl: do you know K.C.?
me: no...I don't!!
silly ass gurl: he's in the Navy....
me: well sweetie that's HALF of San Diego
silly ass gurl: (sounding a lil defeated) are you sure?
me: honey you need to go talk to K.C.

1st of all I don't know no dam K.C. 2nd of all why do women think it's cool to call around trying to be a detective? If you think he's cheating, creeping, sneaking,tipping or even dippin......................he probably is!!!

James worked til 12:30 last night!!! I had to pick him up!!! I need a "hustle".....I have to get my baby a car!!!
James: mom I worked hard tonight!!!
me: good it builds character
James: mom you always say that!
me: I always mean it.....
James: someone was caught having sex in theater 5
me: oh really? Did you catch them?
James: naaaww I wish I did!!!
me: why?
James: so I could shine my flash light on them like "top flight security"
me: you are funny!!!
James: mom I like this job....
me: good for you son
James: I just can't wait to get P.A.I.D.
me: baby don't get too excited....it will not be a lot of money!!!
James: shoot it will be more than I have now!!!!

This morning I heard Harry talking to James in their room.
James: Harry be quiet......I have to work today!!
Harry: boy please..you don't have to be at work until 12 noon
James: how do you know?
Harry: I memorized your WHOLE schedule!!!
James: you are weird....
Harry: no i'm waitin for you to get that check!!!

My kids are sooooo dam funny!!!!

Monday, July 18, 2005

Happy Monday!!!!

I did not blog at ALL this weekend!!! Did not turn the computer on at all!!! What's the first thing I do when I get to work? Yep....here I am blogging.not checking my e-mail or voice mail.......catching up on my blogs!!!!

Houston............I think we have a problem!!!!!

Have a great Monday!!!!

Friday, July 15, 2005

HAPPY FRIDAY Y'ALL!!!!!!

My morning started out pretty good!!! I'm happy it's Friday!

One of my fantabulous co-workers brought me breakfast!!! WOO-WHOO. Nothing like a big breakfast Mexican style to start your day off right!!!

I had a little convo with my boss this morning that pissed me off just a lil...

boss lady: why were you doing Dr. Jorgensons work?

me: cause her wrist was hurting really bad....she was almost in tears doing her paper work.

boss lady: that's why you're the "favorite"

me: huh?

boss lady: they always bring you stuff, you are always invited to lunch, they always invite you for the "after work activities". everytime they come back to our office it's "where's Dee?, how are you today Dee?"

me: well that's cause we are friends

boss lady: yeah what am I?

bitch.that.invited.herself.into.the.convo: yeah and it really makes it hard for us med. assistants whe we tell them one thing and they come into your office and you OVER-RIDE our calls.

me: what are you talking about? Give me an example!!!

boss lady: calm down Dionde' don't get all defensive!!!

(small side note!!! I fucking HATE to be told to CALM down!!!)

me: 1st of all the docs wouldn't come to me if the assistants that work with them acctually WORKED!!! They come to me because the KNOW SHIT WILL GET DONE!!!

boss lady: well think of how the rest of the staff feels....it's not good for their morale!!!

me: what the hell does the way the docs treat me have to do with MORALE? Because I do my job....i'm friendly..dependable....what should I STOP to make my lazy ass co-workers feel better?

boss lady: let's just change the subject!!!

me: LETS!!!!!


I hope my day gets better!!! it's only nine and the tension in this lil ass office we share has got to thin the hell out SOON!!!

Everyone has their own opinion..............but don't I have the right to defend mines?

I hope you all have a great weekend!!!!!

Thursday, July 14, 2005

NO MORE LIARS!!!!

After reading the comments and reflecting on them all. I began to think this morning about my ex husband and his lies. Then the LIAR and his lies. I'm noticing a trend here!!!!

I have always been honest. Except for little white ones we all tell from time to time. As far as relationships go........i'm REAL!!!

When I hooked up with LIAR, he knew I was married but seperated. Right off the top. Straight no chaser........My ex-husband LIED about his son for 2 years and still LIES about the relationship he has with the kid!!! I didn't even know that the child had met my in-laws, until my nephew busted it out one summer when my mother-in-law brought the kids here to San Diego one summer!! I thought that my husband and I were going to work through the whole "i.have.a.baby.outside.our.marriage.but.i.want.to.keep.my.family.together.thing" Can you imagine how hurt I was finding out from my sister-in-laws 5 year old son that this child has been to Chicago SEVERAL times to meet my in-laws? How come hubby forgot to share that with me? We were supposed to be "working through it"......that my blog peeps was the final straw!!!! I called my husband as soon as I got home (he was stationed 45 mins. from Chicago. I stayed here in San Diego figuring out things and I figured the year apart would give me/us a lil clarity) WRONG!!!!! I called his ass and said "I'M DONE!!

I got so much flack from friends/family(his). My family supports me and so do the majority of my real friends!!! When you make the decision that you desrve better.......you have to stick to it!! You all would not belive some of the things people have said to me:

"dee all things can be worked out"
you work it out with his untrusworthy ass!!!

"dee cheating husband is a good man"
you marry his cheating untrustworthy ass!!!

"dee being a single mom is hard"
not sleeping at night wondering who your husband is fucking is harder!!!

"dee it's hard to raise boys alone they need a positive male in their lives"
tell me what's so positive about their dad getting a girl pregnant and hiding it from EVERYBODY for a year and a half?

I figured shit, my mom did it making a WHOLE lot less than me!!!! She raised me and my lil brother making peanuts!!!! I'm strong...........I deserve better!!!!

I have to constantly remind myself................I DESERVE BETTER!!!! sOME DAYS/NITES i STILL CRY MYSELF TO SLEEP WONDERING WHY????

WHY DID HE DO IT?

WHY DID HE LIE?

WHY DID HE HIDE IT FROM ME?

WHY CAN'T HE STILL COME CLEAN?

WHY SHOULD I HAVE SETTLED FOR HALF A HUSBAND?


Maybe God is just preparing me for my prince..........................I will not "settle" I refuse!!! I am a good woman with a good heart!!! I'm smart, educated, have a good job, keep a clean house and can cook my ASS off!!!! I do tend to have a terrible mouth when provoked.............LOL I cuss like a sailor and lub to get my drink on..............but hell i'm still a good catch!!! RIGHT???

Wednesday, July 13, 2005

The LIAR part 2...............

Sorry I didn't finish yeterday! I needed time to think and reflect......I wanted to remember the good times I had with him............he came to me at a time when I was down!!! After my husband cheated.got another woman pregnant and hid it from me I was HURT!!! I felt shit I still can't put it into words..............sometimes I still cry at night about it.....I was with my husband all my adult life..........he cheated......got the girl pregnant.......hid it from me for a year...................That hurt!!! o.k i'm getting off track!!!

Liar came along and made me smile....really smile!!! We had fun.we laughed!! He made me smile when I felt like crying........made me realize that my husbands infidelity was not my fault...........Now that I look back, he was my "rebound". There are many theories on the whole rebound thing.but hey he made me happy......giggle like a school gurl.......we were silly............we were FANTABULOUS when we were naked!! So rebound or not, he came to me at a time when I was feeling really LOW!!!
Everyone comes in your life for a reason or a season........I really believe that!!!

Enough of the sweet mushy shit!!!! HE IS A FUCKING LIAR!!!!

lET'S GO BACK....WE BECAME INSEPERABLE!!! hE WAS ALWAYS WITH ME AND VICE-VERSA. He would kick it with the gurls...drive us around. Club hop with us. Cruise the beaches whilst we sipped wine. How many guys do you know that mind driving 4 cackling silly drunk ladies around? We had fun!!!!

Around December after he returned from his hometown (Dallas) He slacked off a lil bit! We would only see each other maybe once a week or so....I never questioned it cause I welcomed the "break" so to speak.

Foward to March. March 6th to be exact!!! We both end up at our fav. Saturday nite spot. He got there after me.....greeted me with a hug and went to the bar to get me a drink!!! He went to find his boys and I continued to do my thing....When we were out together, I never "attached" myself to him. Even if we went together and he was with the boys, I would always "wander" around and and give him his space. I would meet up when it was time for a drink or he would usually find me when it was time for another drink!!! We were in "sync" with our drinks so to speak!!

I walked out on the patio and he was in a circle talking to a co-worker and this chic. I walked up to the circle and stood there. The convo stopped. There was no introduction....nothing...the chic walked away!!! He looked at me and said "why did you do that"? I said HUH? He said you know what you did.....I said whatever and walked away.continued to do my thing.....he had pissed me off but I was determined to have a good time still!!!

I walk out on the patio about 30 mins later and he is there with my girl and 2 of his boys.they are all at a table laughing and joking.............I turn around to walk away cause I am not in the mood to deal with LIARS attitude....His boy says "dee come sit with us" I say naaahh i'm cool. My girl senses something is wrong and asks me to come sit!!! She turns to LIAR and says "LIAR what did you do to my friend"? LIAR says nothing your friend is tripping.........Liars friend says "come sit with us" LIAR pats his lap and I sit on it.........whisper in his ear and ask why he is tripping.......he says it's you! I say let's just have a good time!!! I say o.k. We laugh and drink til it's time to go!!! I get up to leave and he walks towards the door..didn't say anything!!! He always walks me to my car...............ALWAYS this didn't sit well with me. I find my gurl and walk to my car. He is parked behind me and is on his cell!!! He walks up to me after he gets off the phone and says "go home.we will talk in the morning" I say LIAR remember when we first started this I said when it stops being fun, I don't want to do it anymore!!! WHY DID I SAY THIS?I STILL DUNNO............He said are you about to cry and I said yeah well it's no longer fun.................I asked him if he wanted company he said no!!! I'm going downtown with my boys........RED LIGHT (usually he will ask me to meet him at home or give me his key to meet him)

Call it intuition.....whatever............I went to his apartment!!! WHY? still don't know.....Why was I in tears? Still don't know!!!! WHY AM I IN TEARS NOW?

I went to his house!!! He called my cell and told me to go home and sleep it off!!! To stop tripping.........we argued a li and I went to his house. He parks in the alley and he has ONE spot. I cruise through and there is a car there in his spot!!! It is not his mom's car.she's out of town!!! I circle the block and pull up behind the car. There is a chic on the hood. I roll down the window

Me: are you waiting for LIAR?
alley chic: Why who are you
Me: i'm his girl are you waiting for him
alley chic: maybe
Me: look I just asked you a simple question!!!
alley chick: yeah i'm waiting for him

I pull off circle the block. LIAR spots me and rolls off!!! I go back to the alley chick.
Me: he's not coming back
alley chic: huh?
Me: I just saw him around front. He is not coming back here.
alley chic: LIAR wouldn't leave me here in the alley (hence the name alley chic)
Me: sweetie he wouldn't come back here if his life depended on it!! He would rather walk through hell in gasoline draws
alley chic: well I will just wait
Me: let's do it!
alley chic: how long have you been with LIAR
Me: i'm sure longer than you!
alley chic: LIAR is married
Me: HUH? married how do you know
alley chic: when I first got to the boat, all his boys told me.
Me: I thought he was divorced.
alley chic: yeah from his son's mom. He married his daughters mom before she was born.
Me: how long have you been fucking
alley chic: I don't get played
Me: laughing really hard.........2 and a half years
alley chic: a few months
Me: ummph well .i'm tired of waiting his ass aint coming!!!

We both leave...we both head to the freeway...something tells me to jump off and go back!!!! I see his truck..of course he pulls off!!!!

I go home.i'm tired,sad,tired mad,hurt,sad,tired...........I remember he has duty in the morning and has to be on the boat at 7 a.m. I go home and try to sleep!!!

O'dark 30 i'm up and on the freeway!!! I get to his house at 6:30 in pink princess p.j's and furry slippers!!! I am MAD now!!! I know he will not buzz me in so what's a girl to do? I scale the fence like a freakin NINJA!!!! Furry slippers and all!!! Go to the door and knock!!! I put my finger over the peep hole and HE FALLS FOR IT!!!! Dummy opens the door!!! He realizes it's me and I block the door with my foot!!! LIAR how come you didn't tell me you are MARRIED? He said and I quote "i'm gonna call the police" What a bitch!!!! I can't believe i'm dealing with such a pussy!!! I walked away!!! Then I thought fuck this.I need an answer, an apology...something!!!

I go and wait by his truck!!! Thinking about catching a case. Bitch slapping his punk ass!!!! He comes down to the truck and clicks the alarm!!!! DUMMY BOTH DOORS OPEN WHEN YOU DO THAT!!! I jump in like we are going somewhere!!! He jumps out truck running and all I said LIAR you are not going to talk to me? He left me in the alley in his truck!!!!!! IDIOT!!!!! I started to back it into a wall or rip the t.v.'s out of the head rests..............naaah instead I took err thing not nailed down....playstation games, dvd's,cd's err thing!!!! He sold bootleg dvd's for a lil side hustle...I took over 100 movies,flics and aroun 50 cd's!!!! ASSHOL>>>>PUNK BITCH>>>>>>>>>>>>>>DON'T LEAVE A MAD HEFFA IN YOUR TRUCK!!!! ever!!!!

I SOLD MOVIES FOR A MONTH!!!!

I CRIED, CRIED A LOT, DIDN'T GO OUT...............WORK AND HOME!!!
I didn't want to run into him!!!! I hurt....not like when my husband did me in, but I hurt!!!!! This was March 7th.........still nothing from him.no apology, e-mail nothing!!!!

I try really hard to remember what he showed me about life...about myself.......about love.........about great sexcapades!!!!! hE CAME INTO MY LIFE AFTER HAVING A MAJOR CRUSH ON HIM......HE SHOWED ME A LOT ABOUT MYSELF..............CHANGED ME A LITTLE FOR THE BETTER.TAUGHT ME TO BE CALM IN SITUATIONS THAT CALLED FOR CALMNESS!!! I WAS C.R.A.Z.Y. ABOUT HIM!!!!

A REASON OR A SEASON?



Tuesday, July 12, 2005

Let's talk about the LIAR!!!

I went out on Saturday and I ran into the LIARS best friend. I had not really frequented any of my regular "hang-outs" 1: because I didn't want to run into his ass for fear of "catching a case". 2: Because my heart was broken. Liars boy said "Dee I talked to Mike the other day and he asked about you....I told him that no one has seen you out at all. When I talk to him again do you want me to say something to him?" Me: no not at all Friend of the dam LIAR " Dee you can't stop doing you! I know you were hurt and i'm sorry....Mike is sorry too" Me: well he needs to say something to me..........We need "closure" ..........sidenote: I already had closure when I found out he has a wife back in Dallas!!! Friend of LIAR: "Dee he's really sorry and so am I....what do you want me to tell him? Me: tell him I wish him well! LIARS boy: "anything else?" ME: yeah tell him I looked dam good!!!

Lets back up 2 and a half years.....no lets back up 6 years ago. I met BIG LIAR through his boy who is a friend of mines. He is from Chicago as well. Thoose of us from CHI tend to "bond" here in Cali....a lil "clique" so to speak. When I 1st met LIAR I thought he was sooooo dam SEXXXY! His "swagger, his style, everything about this man screamed FINE. I was married though and so was he!!! So it was just a lil flirting here and there and that was it! LIAR moved away for a few years and then I saw our mutual friend and he said "the LIAR is in town for a few weeks we will be at Tina's on Saturday" So you know I was there on Saturday just to get a glimpse at the man that made my heart "pitter-patter"....pure infatuation....cute! I made my way over batted my eylashes and said "you know I have had a crush on you 4-ever. He said yeah but you are married and I said you too! He said not for long though!!! We flirted a lil more and that was it!!! He left for a few more years and that was that no numbers exchanged nothing!!!! I never though much of him....every now and then I would ask my boy "how's the LIAR?"

Foward 3 years ago....i'm out at my favorite hole in the wall and I bump into the LIAR!!! I am feeling really good!!! side note: My favorite hole in the wall sells Hennessey doubles mind you for $4....beer to chase said cocktail $1.50...y'all know I was feeling REALLY good!!! End side note. I said hey how long are you in town. He said I just moved back. I am really excited now. I said where is your wife he said we got a divorce. "where is your husband" We are seperated now. He said oh i'm sorry to hear that. He told me he had only been here a few weeks and that he was going on deployment for 6 months the next day. So we went back to his place fooled around a lil no real "nakedness" cause we had no condoms but we just fooled around and exchanged e-mail addies and promised to keep in touch for the 6 months he was gone. Then when he gave me the address I realized that he was on the ship with not one or two but 4 of my husbands "closest" boys. Now for thoose of you that don't know military men....they gossip far more that women....sad but true. Because we were only "seperated"........not divorced...I didn't want any shit . I could just picture him reading an e-mail or letter from me and one of the four characters that are friends with my sperm donor walk by and see my name....How many Dionde's do y'all know? OOH WELL NOW Y'ALL KNOW MY REAL NAME!!! So I kept the e-mails and letters to a bare minimum!!!! Well when he got back............we had a lot of catching up to do!!!! Can you imagine being "smitten" with some one for years and finally getting your hands on him"? WHEW!!!!

We began as just "cut buddies" it was AWESOME!!! I had "dick on demand" LOVELY!!!! I could call anytime day or nite!!!! 1 in the afternoon or 2 in the morn after leaving the club!!! He lived with his boy Sean and he was never ever home!!! It was nice!!! When Sean was home for my 2 in the afternoon sexcapade we had a key to best friends house.....she worked 2 jobs and was NEVER HOME!!!! Theese wild sex antics continued for about 4 months and then we strated to get S.E.R.I.O.U.S. With both of us........it was mutual!!!!

Now y'all may be thinking that it was just me who decided to take it to the next level but trust me it was "MUTUAL" Yeah I was married to the same man ALL my ADULT life while y'all were out there "getting it on"!! But i'm no dummy!!!

Here I was in a relationship!!!!! It happened so fast.......It was really good for me at the time!!! They say everyone comes into your life for a reason or a season.................The LIAR taught me a lot....about myself.....about life in general!!!!

He came to me at a time when I needed to know that what my husband did was not because I was not a "good wife/mother" What my husband did he did cause he wanted to!!! He said no matter how good you have it at home.....nig@as are gonna always be on the ETERNAL ass chase!!!

HELLO!!! DEE RED FLASHING LIGHTS!!!!SIRENS!!!!! HOW DID I NOT SEE THIS AS A SIGN!!!!! NOW THAT I LOOK BACK!!!!!!

NOW I HAVE TO CONTINUE THIS LATER CAUSE BOSS LADY IS LOOKING OVER MY SHOULDER!!! Y'ALL KNOW I CAN'T TYPE WITH MY 2 FINGER PECKING ASS!!!

PART 2 OF LIAR LATER!!!! GOTTA GO

Monday, July 11, 2005

Nothing much to report....

My weekend was pretty cool!! No drama....nothing to bitch about.....

Friday night: happy hour after work with a "gentleman caller" It was cool but he was an hour late!!! Yep one whole hour!! Why did I stay you might ask? Because I bumped int quite a few people I knew! One by one they passed by and we chit-chatted and caught up so to speak. See cause after my break-up with the LIAR I really didn't hang out anymore!!! So I bumped int about 5 or 6 folks I hadn't seen in a few months and I didn't just have to stand there sipping gimlets ALONE!!! 2nd I needed him to know that I didn't appreciate tardiness!!! So when he got there I was talking to my friend steve.....I intoduced them and we talked a few minutes then we had a drink the three of us. After Steve walked away, we had one more drink and I told him I had to leave!!! YEP I told him that I had to meet my gurls later so I had to go home and shower and change! I wanted to go home after work and change and then meet him but he said no because he thought i would take too long!!! What the hell? So I bullshited around work til 5 (when I get off at 4-4:30) then got there around 5 went in and started to get my "sip" on! He was supposed to be there at 5:30 so I would only be there for 30 mins. alone....He didn't get there til 6:30....you know why? Cause he went home and showered and changed!!!!! THE NERVE!!!! His ass looked crazy when I told him I was leaving!!! He knew I only had a couple of hours to spend and he used one of them!!!! HE WILL KNOW NEXT TIME!!!!

Saturday my son had a car wash to raise money for his basketball team. I helped a lil (with two cars) Hey I made a big donation...lol I collected money from my co-workers and got my car washed and even had a friend tag along and get his car washed too!!! Saturday nite hung out with some girl friends.....cool time a lil too much to drink though!!!

Sunday: Harry had a basketball game out in bum-fuck-egypt....I swear it was in the middle of NO WHERE!!! We got our asses WHOOPED!!! They lost by 40 points....we have never lost like that!!! I blamed it on the HEAT I swear it was 11o degrees in that freakin gym!! They didn't even sell water!!! We always sell stuff at our games!!! I was about to pass the hell out!!!! After the game I went to get my hair braided at my girlfriends house. Drank a few beers with the gurls. Went home ate a lil dinner and went to bed EARLY.

I think going out Friday and Saturday was a lil too much!!!

Hope you all have a great Monday!!!!

oh yeah on Friday afternoon one of the girls that was a part of my interview came up to my office and said "Dee I think you did great in your interview! I hope you get the job." That meant a lot to me!!! I asked her why she did not apply and she said it would be too much drama because of the girls she works with! She thought it would be better for an "outsider" to come in.............

Friday, July 08, 2005

The big interview!!!

1st off I was soo not prepared for an interview yesterday! I mean my hair was combed, scrubs clean and ironed...etc...etc....But I was not in the mental state if you know what I mean!!! 1st thing out of boss lady's mouth is "Dee they want to interview you at noon". I can handle this....even if it is my 1st day back after vacation....

I go downstairs at noon and there are lots of chairs in a semi circle....I don't think much of it. I'm thinkinking they have a staff meeting afterwards. In walks the lady that is the "acting" manager. She is also one of the people who pushed me to apply. Then in comes Ms. Alice. She is the "front desk lead" She has been here since they built the building!!! LOL Then Paula she is a LVN like me and the back office lead downstairs. Then Here come not one not 2 not 3 but 4 Dr.'s.....four Dr.'s that I don't know......I worked in this clinic years ago and all theese Dr.'s are new. Luckily the last Dr.to walk in...I know....she is the Medical director and I worked with her years ago when she was fresh out of residency......she is the only one of the docs that greeted me with a smile by name....that made me feel good!

Juanita(acting manager): Dee I hope you don't mind but we decided to have a few people involved in the interview process.

ME: That's fine

Juanita: so we will all just ask you questions at random

Me: sure

Then the questions came at me!!! I answered them all very well I think. I made sure to make eye contact with every person. I think I did o.k. There were two of the Dr.s I couldn't really read though!!! They wouldn't give me a lil smile..........

When I got back upstairs all my Docs wanted to know how I did. The wanted to know if I "WOWED" them. I said I felt pretty good for the most part but i'm unsure. I have had many interviews in my day and I must say I have always done really well! I just couldn't "read" them.

I prayed on it and if it's meant to be.......I will have it. If I don't get it......hey I still have my job here where i'm needed and respected for what I do!!!

A couple of the Dr.s came by to wish me luck and a couple came in to say "we want you to get it but we really don't want you to leave" That makes me feel good!

Thanks to all of you for your well wishes....I appreciate it!!!
My feelings were sooooo hurt last night cause only ONE of my girlfriends called me to find out how the interview went!!! ONE!!!! I sent out texts to all my girls and only ONE called me to find out what happened!!! I was hurt!!!
I don't know y'all from a can of paint......And all my blog pals wished me well and cheered me on!!! You all are the BESTEST!!!!!! I mean it!!!!!

As soon as I find out anything.......My "blog crew" will be the 1st to know!!!!!

THANKS YOU GUYS ARE THE BEST!!!

Thursday, July 07, 2005

WISH ME LUCK!!!

Today is my 1st day back at work!!! First thing out of boss lady's mouth is "you have your interview at noon" WOW!!!

Wish me luck guys!!!! I sure need this promotion!!!

Wednesday, July 06, 2005

LAST DAY!!!!

Well today is my last day of lounging, sleeping in, hanging out at Walmart,having big breakfast,watching Good Morning America..........yep it's back to the plantation in the morning!!!!

I got a phone call from my girlfriend last night around 9. She flew in from Vegas for work today.
Friend: girl are you sleep?
Me: naaw but i'm in bed.
Friend: I'm in town for 1 day....come have drinks with me....on me.well on the company!
Me: shit i'm there in 15 minutes.

It cracks me up.....I can be DEAD tired in bed......eye lids heavy as hell...........let somebody call and have some plans...............I jump up and get ready like a crack head at a free crack fest!!!!

The thing I love and miss about this girlfriend is she knows how to have a good time!!! The bar I met her at (in record time I might add) there were 8 people including us. LOL Another friend of ours was there also. He said "dam Dee you got here fast!!!" With only a few people in the joint, she is so much fun that you feel like you are at a major function. Well a few drinks with her is never a few drinks...........once the bartender closed it down and we gave him major attitude..lol We found another bar and headed over for another "few" drinks...lol We had a great time on a Tuesday night! I sent her a text this morning reminding her how much I miss having her here in San Diego. Even though she is only 4 1/2 hours away..........We don't see each other as often and I really miss her. She just got a house and she wants me to come and help her "get my Martha Stewart" on.......All the HGTV I watch...I have all theese ideas just wanting to get out.....lol

Well I think I will spend the last day of my vacation relaxing and blog hopping!!!

HAPPY HUMP DAY Y'ALL!!!

Tuesday, July 05, 2005

vacation wrap up!!!

Well my days are numbered!!! I go back to work Thursday!!! I really enjoyed my days off!!! Doing whatever the hell came to mind!!! I didn't clean like crazy!!! That is a good thing!! I had folks over on Sunday.......lets talk about that for a sec............

When did it become o.k to arrive with nothing in your hand? Not a dessert....paper plate..beer........nadda?

When did become o.k to invite yourself and come empty handed?

When did it become o.k to invite yourself and bring a friend and both you heffas come with nothing?

When did it become o.k to call and ask me what you should bring and I tell you ICE AND SOME VODKA not top shelf....just any kind of vodka, and you don't bring SHIT?

People are just SHADY!!!!! RUDE AND SHADY!!!!!

Yesterday I slept late and boy did I enjoy it!!!!I dropped James of at a friends, came home and took a long nap.....woke up and went to my friends que....I came home played cards with my baby............watched a lil t.v and called it a nite!!!

Today I have to get James some black slacks for his movie theater job which he starts TODAY!!!! After I drop him off Harry and I will stay and see a movie!!!!

Have a great day at work y'all!!!!

Saturday, July 02, 2005

Proud day at Divas............

My son now has TWO jobs!!!!! Yeah for James!!!

James got hired at Sea World on Wednesday. He had a 2nd interview with the movie theater yesterday afternoon. I told him he would get it because he was already hired at Sea World. He got the call yesterday evening... He was sooo excited!!!

James: Mom you were right! everybody will start calling me now!

Me: I'm very happy for you son.

James: mom which one do I keep?

Me: son you have to decide. Sea World doesn't start your orientation until the 19th. You start at the movies on Tuesday. Get a feel for the movies and then you can decide. Maybe you can do both for a couple of weeks then decide.

James: How do I quit one of the jobs? That's crazy how I looked for so long and now I have 2!

He is so cute. Worried about the "proper" way to quit a job.........He is definitely my child....he has his paycheck spent and has not worked ONE hour!!!! LOL He keeps saying how things are gonna be so much nicer for us now....It makes me proud that he would even consider helping out around the house. I just want him to pay his cell bill and keep his pocket change. Once he starts saving a little I may want a little change on the insurance for the car so that he can learn that driving is a big responsibility......I will let y'all know how it goes...............

Thanks for all the support while my baby was on his search!!!!!
Have a happy and safe 4th!!!!