Wednesday, August 31, 2005

Happy Wednesday!!!!

I have 20 minutes this morning to blog at work!!!

my babys test came back NEGATIVE!!!!! He is seizure free!!!! We will test him again in May and if he is still seizure free..............we will get off thoose dam pills!!!!!
THANKS Y'ALL FOR ALL THE PRAYERS!!!! PRAYER WORKS!!!

work is HELL!!!!!!! PAPERLESS HELL!!!
This new system was supposed to make all our jobs easier......yeah it did..................everybodys but MINES!!!!!!
The front desk folks are doing their nails!!!! The M.A.s are taking loooong ass lunch breaks........Dr.'s schedules are cut down to half the load. Everybody is LUVING this new computerzed system...............EXCEPT ME!!!!

Tonite we are going to see F.A.I.T.H. E.V.A.N.S. at the House of Blues
They all (my friends) went to see Beyonce and nem last nite.....I declined!!! $90 to see B, Kelly and what the hell? I don't think so!!!!

HAVE A GREAT DAY!!! I'M OFF TO PLAY CATCH UP!!!!!


Tuesday, August 30, 2005

THANKS TO YOU ALL!!!!!

THANKS TO ALL OF YOU FOR ALL YOUR PRAYERS!!! MY BABY'S TEST WENT WELL!!! I DON'T HAVE RESULTS YET.

I had to wake him up at 2 a.m and keep him up til 8 a.m. We got up at 2 and played cards til about 3:30. I could tell he was getting sleepy so We got up and started "dusting"....trying to find shit to clean. mirrors, bookshelves anything......music pumping.......dusting at 3:30 in the a.m. Then at 4:30 we iron our clothes and shower to get dressed. When I got out of the shower.....he was on my bed starting to snooze!!!! OOOOHHH NOOOOO!!! I shook him and we got up and drove to STARBUCKS cards in hand!!!! We played cards and drank coffee and hot cocoa until 7:15 then we went to our appointment. On the way to Childrens hospital.....he started to snooze.....I rolled down all the windows and turned the music up and made him sing!!!!!

They took us in right away hooked him up to the testing thingy (real good medical terminology huh?) As soon as dude left the room and turned the lights out.....we were both gone!!!!! LOL
The whole test lasted 35 minutes!!!! I was up all morning for 35 minutes of testing!!!!!

We get home and I am TIRED AS HELL!!!! Y'all know this lil negro is AMPED!!!!! He wants to go to breakfast then have me drop him off at school. I go to Mc Donalds and to the house!!!! I get all comfy with pillows for us to each assume the posistion on the couches....he starts playing playstation!!!! What the HELL???? I am sooooo tired!!!!! I fell out!!! He stayed up the rest of the day!!!! DAM!!!!!

I thank you all for ALL your prayers and thoughts!!!!! I will let you know the results!!!


I AM STILL IN PAPERLESS HELL!!!! MY JOB REALLY SUCKS RIGHT NOW!!! IT TAKES ME ALL DAY TO DO WHAT NORMALLY TAKES 1-2 HOURS!!!!

THE MOST FUCKED UP PART IS THIS SHIT IS CUTTING INTO MY BLOGGING ADDICTION!!!!!!! I WILL HAVE TO CATCH UP LATER!!!!!

Wednesday, August 24, 2005

I AM IN HELL RIGHT NOW!!!

I AM IN HELL TODAY!!!!! WE STARTED OUR NEW "PAPERLESS" SYSTEM TODAY!!!!

WHY HAS IT TAKEN ME 4 HOURS TO DO 45 MINUTES WORTH OF FUCKING WORK!!!!

PRAY FOR ME Y'ALL PLEASE......I WANT TO THROW MY COMPUTER OUT THE DAM WINDOW!!!


on the serious tip say a lil prayer for me and my baby..........he was diagnosed with a seizure disorder last year.....PURE HELL FOR ME AND HIM BOTH!!!! He will have a test in the morning that will determine if we can take him off of the meds for good!!! I have to wake him up and keep him up at 2 a.m. How in the hell am I supposed to keep him up? From 2 a.m til 8 a.m so he can fall asleep in the Dr.s office.....HELL I tell you!!!!

Tuesday, August 23, 2005

Tagged three times!!!!!

HMMMMM Seems i've been tagged not once.....not twice.....but 3 times!!!

Thanks to Msnhim, Foxy Brown and shit I can't remember the 3rd.....sorry!!! Now y'all know I can't link!!!! Y'all know i'm a little S.L.O.W. but I lub you all!!!!

Now I have seen different variations. Some say 10 favorite songs of all times.........some say 10 songs you are feeling now.....some say 10 songs you are listening to now!!! I opt for the easy one!!!! I LOVE music!!! There is no way in da hell I could narrow it down to just 10!!!! This would take me 10 days!!!!! Y'all know I blog at work!!!!! LOL

MUSIC MAKES ME HIGH!!!!!

RIGHT NOW I AM REALLY FEELING/PLAYING:

1: GOLD DIGGER/ Kanye
I luv the beat....I hear it and have to dance!!!

2:I GOTTA GET YA/ Jermain Dupree/Missy
I think the video is HOTTT

3: SHAKE YOU OFF/ Mariah
yeah I purchased a Mariah CD WHAT????

4: SO SEDUCTIVE/ Tony Yayo
I dont really think his rap style is all that but the beat is nice!!!! He also has a hottt "dark skin" sistah in the video.....we don't see that often....

5: YOU/ TWEET
This song helped me through the "break up" with the LIAR it's #5 when I think about him.....I play it and it reminds me that he is not WORTHY!!!!

6: MINE AGAIN/ Mariah
she saaaang that song!!!!!

7: OUTTA CONTROL/MOBB DEEP & 50 CENT
I have always liked MOBB DEEP

8: SUM CUT/ TRIL?
I heard the REAL lyrics not the video version and I was a lil shocked....now i'm over it.....I like BEATS.......I very rarely listen to WORDS of songs!!!!

9: LIKE YOU/ BOW WOW
Yea I have a 2 teenagers and I hear it 789,987,987,345,001,789,000 times a day!!!! I have no choice but to hum along!!!! LOL

10: WELCOME TO JAMROCK/ one of the Marley boys
I lub this song....."out in the streets.....they call it MURDER"

O.k y'all I was tagged and I WILL NOT TAG NAN OTHER PERSON!!!!!! lol





Monday, August 22, 2005

fell for it again....................

HAPPY MONDAY!!!!

Yep I feel for it again....................I got dropped off at work this morning!!!!

James: mom can I drive the 1st day of school?

Me: ummmmm no!!

James: but mom i'm a senior and it would be cool if I could drive ........

Me: maybe

well he worked til midnight last night. He would have had to catch the bus at 6:15 this morning and wake up at 5:30 which would have only given him 4 hours sleep. I thought about it ALL night.

When I woke him up at 6:30 this morning....he said "mom i'm sooo late" I replied sweetie just drive yourself.....I will ride with Jaime( my neighbor/friend). "Mom you are the best!!!! Yeah yeah but you better get some gas!!!! LOL

Thursday, August 18, 2005

I fell for the O'KEE DOK.............

This kid has been a licensed driver for ONE day!!!!! I got dropped off today!!! Yep I fell for it!!!

james: mom i'm off today.

me: that's good baby

james: mom I NEED to please take you to work.

me: why?

james: uuummmm don't you have sumthin for me to do?

me: ummm yeah I do need an oil change...........and you can take your brother to school after he sees the DR.

james: thanks mom you are the best!!!!

me: yeah just put my gas back!!!! LOL And be there there to get me ON TIME!!!

james: No problem I will put $10 in that should be good......

me: laughing my ass off

james: what's so funny?

He will see $10 worth of gas aint shit!!!!


All the comments you guys make, touch me in one way or another.........a man by the name of O made a comment that came to me from an old post "count my blessings"( the end of April) He must have went back and read old posts. His comment popped up in my e-mail inbox today and it REALLY touched me!!!! I needed that today!!!!

Thanks O who ever you are!!!!!!


HAPPY FRIDAY EVE!!!!!

Wednesday, August 17, 2005

One teary eyed/proud mom

Today is a special day in the Divas life!!!

MY BABY IS A LICENSED DRIVER!!!!! YEAH!!!!

HE had his appointment this morning at 9. I was soooooo nervous last nite!!! I tossed and turned...

what if he fails?
how will I "boost" his lil ego if he fails?
how am I gonna afford to get him a car/
dam my insurance is gonna go through the roof!!!!!

This morning waiting in the test area...........I was soooo nervous....he kept saying "mom you are making me nervous" LOL
HE GOT 100% I WANTED TO CRY!!! I'M SOOOO proud!!!

DAM MY BABY IS GROWING UP!!!!! SEEMS LIKE YESTERDAY I WAS WALKING HIM TO SCHOOL FOR THE 1ST TIME!!!! MONDAY HE'S A SENIOR IN HIGH SCHOOL!!!!

WHERE DID THE TIME GO?

Monday, August 15, 2005

WHAT A GOOD WEEKEND!!!

I HAD A GOOD WEEKEND!!! I DIDN'T DO MUCH!!!! PERFECT...........

School shopping with Harry ( the youngest) was perfect!!!! YAHOO!!!!! we went to two stores!!! 2 only!!! The footlocker cause they give a 20% military discount. Something just told me to have the guy measure my baby's feet.............he is a WHOLE size bigger than he was in June. The last time I got him shoes was for his birthday in June.......I got a 71/2. He is now an 81/2 now!!! What the hell!!! He has been walking around with too little shoes!!! I had to get 2 pair caise we had to go home and throw all the TOO little shoes away!!! Now I have to go buy some "play" shoes off of somebodys clearance rack!!!

Next we went to the Navy Exchange......no tax and 20-40% cheaper than regular stores. We got ALL our shopping done and school supplies!!!! I was too thrilled!!! We had lunch and went home to PLASTER my ass on the couch!!!

Sunday NADDA NOTHING!!!! Laundry and housecleaning done by 8 a.m. Took James to work and returned to my posistion on the couch!!! He took the bus home (yeah) The only other thing I did yesterday was braid Harrys hair while consuming a WHOLE bottle of Merlot...............the parts were a lil crooked but he luved it!!!

Today was the 1st day of school for my youngest. I came in late to work so I could drive him to school. I ALWAYS drive him on the 1st day...it's our tradition.

harry: are you takink me to school in the morning?

me: of course

james: mom he's too old for you to take him

harry: no i'm not!!!

james: what are you gonna walk him on the 1st day of high school?

me: yeah if he wants me too!!!

harry: I want you too!!!

james: i'm glad I won't be there!!

harry: mind your business it's our tradition!!!

Then it hit me like a ton of bricks....this time next year I will have a "grown ass man" and my baby will start high school!!!

DAM WHERE DID THE TIME GO?

Have a good Monday!!!

Friday, August 12, 2005

No catchy title!!!!!

A few rants and raves!!! This is what the blog is for right?

The liars mom e-mailed me yesterday!!! She wants to get together to "catch-up" I don't know if I really want to cause I still have issues around her building a friendship with me when she knew her son is a LIAR and a CHEATER. I realize her son is 1st and I am just a passer by but she could have stood back and NOT built a relationship with me......we spent a lot of time together with out the LIAR!!! I like her but I feel I dunno............................

Back to school!!!!! A mothers HOLIDAY!!!! Yeah in 2 weeks both of my "off spring" will be back in school!!! No more 998,274,234,123,999,ooo phone calls while i'm at work!!!!

mom he will not let me play the game!
mom there are no snacks!!!
mom i'm bored
mom can we get in the pool
mom when are you coming home?
mom can I go to work with you?

Life will go back to normal.......Whatever that is!!!! LOL Now I will get 3 calls

mom i'm leaving for school (youngest)
mom i'm home and i'm hungry (oldest)
mom i'm home and i'm hungry and where is my brother? (youngest)

THEN THERE IS BACK TO SCHOOL SHOPPING!!!!
My youngest is easy!!!! A pair of tennis shoes.....a few pairs of basketball type shorts and a few t-shirts. School suplies and we are cool!!! One afternoon, two stores.....D.O.N.E.
The 17 year old.............."pretty Ricky" Now I could just say to hell with it and pull the money outta my ass................I mean give him the money and let him do it on his own but then he would come home with 2 pairs of big ass cubic zirconia "blin-bling" earrings some shades, a s-curl kit and a pair of $200 shoes!!!! LMAO so I have to go with him..........roam thru store after store while listening to him say "it doesn't fit right, that doesn't hang right, that's not my style, that's not the right color!!!!" GOOD NITE!!!! Good thing is my youngest gets to shop this weekend and the oldest is next weekend!!!!

anyone want to buy some slightly used purses and really cute shoes/clothes cause a sistah will be B.R.O.K.E. LOL

WORK IS CRAZY RIGHT NOW!!!!!

We are starting a new system. We will be going to a "paperless" charting system on the 24th!!! Very high tech....LOL This will change EVERYONES work flow!!!! Why do we have to take sooooo many classes. Shit i'm not retaining shit in "train" mode.......just let me get in and do my thang!!!!! Most of the classes are 2 hours and it's a mixed class with front desk folks, call center folks, Docs., nurses, managers and medical assistants!!! The problem is..............WE ALL DO DIFFERENT JOBS/WORKFLOWS!!!! So why do I need to sit through 123,322,876 dr. quesitons and 234,999,213, 000 front desk questions to get to what I need? Boring!!!!! Stoooopid waste of time!!!!! Then I get behind on my work cause i've been away wasting 2 hours!!!!

I bumped into the LIARS boy again last nite!!!! He said "the LIAR asked how you were doing and I told him you have not really been out much. What do you want me to tell him?" I said I know you mean well but he really really hurt me, I would appreciate it if you don't mention him to me!!! I am still getting over him. Tell him i don't hate him and I wish him the best!!!! I mean it!!!! He said "Dee I feel bad cause you met him thru me" Sweetie it's not your fault......you are not to blame!!!

I don't have plans this weekend, besides school shopping.......I never really make plans though.....shit just seems to "come-up"

you all have a great weekend!!!!!!

Thursday, August 11, 2005

my kids say some funny shit!!!

Today my oldest got his 1st FULL paycheck. He got a check two weeks ago but it was for one week. He started one week into the pay period. I tried to explain to him how the pay period ends/begins but he was not Feeling" me. LOL He got his 1st check and was so sad because it was for one week. This is the convo:

James: mom I got cheated.

me: what do you mean?

James: I only got paid for 25 hours but I worked 5o

me: that's what I was trying to explain to you. You started one week into the pay period. your NEXT check will be for 2 weeks!!!

James: this S.U.C.K.S.

me: I tried to tell you!!!

James: MOM IF YOU WORK....YOU SHOULD GET PAID FOR IT!!!!

me: I know son but that's the way it goes!!!

James: if I didn't need the money I would QUIT!!!

me: really? as long as you looked for a job..............you would just quit?

James: NAAW i'm the man of this house and I gotta work!!!

Todays convo after getting a FULL check!!!!

James: (on the phone i'm at work) mom I boo-booed on myself!!!!

Me: what? are you serious?

James: I got my check!!!!

Me: are you happy with it?

James: heck yeah!!!! But taxes suck!!!!! When do I get all my taxes back?

Me: Welcome to my world!!!!

James: your world sucks and so do taxes!!!!!

Me: i know baby.

James: after I pay my cell bill and pay you what I owe you i'm almost broke!!

me: but you have more than if you had NO JOB!!!

James: yeah mom you are right!!! I don't ever want to NOT WORK!!!!

me: good....always remember that

MY KIDS...............................





Wednesday, August 10, 2005

Put this in the WHACK date files!!!

I decided to meet a dude I had been talking to on the phone for about a week. He wanted me to meet him at his house.....of course I declined!!! We decided to meet at a local bar near his house. Now that I think about it....that was a set-up!

!st we were supposed to meet at 9ish after I picked James up from work!!! I was running a lil late I got there about 9:30. I call his cell he says he almost there. I say cool cause I was late too!! He pulls up behind me. I look in the rearview no he does not have people in the car with his ass!!!! He freakin has a couple in the car with him!!!!

We get out and I give him a hug. He introduces me to "frame damage" and the D.O.C. (ooohhh weeee) We walk in the bar.........they all go to the bathroom which leaves me at the bar. I order my gimlet and make small talk with the bartender. I ADAPT to any situation. They come out and WHACKMAN sits by me, frame damage, is next to him, and the D.O.C. on the end. WHACKMAN places his hand on my back a lil too long!!!! I'm not with the rub-a-dub-dub and you don't even know my last name!!!! So I scoot over a lil bit to let him know i'm not cool!! He goes on and on about how fine I look. Then he asks me to stand upand take my shoes off so he can see how tall I am. What the fuck? I wore what I consider flats cause I am tall and I usually like to wear 2-3" heels. I wore lil 1" sandals to see where dudes head was!!!! I said I will stand up but i'm not taking my shoes off!!! We stood up and stood shoulder to shoulder looking in the mirror. He said "dam you are tall" I said yeah the same height I was when you met me!!!

When I met his whack ass I had on a much higher heel!!! What's the problem? Oh we are not in the club!!! I'm not showing A.N.Y. skin!!! I should have got up and left then.................no matter of fact I should have not even got out of my car when he pulled up with "frame damage" and the D.O.C.!!! SIDE NOTE: Y'all remember the D.O.C. rapper from back in the day....rhaspy voice....all thugged out.....N.W.A. oooohhh weeee tall big piece of a man.........END SIDE NOTE!!!

They are making small talk about the baseball game they just left and I am shooting the shit with Chris the bartender. They decide to shoot pool. I don't play pool. I don't mind watching at ALL as long as the bar is OPEN!! LOL So they shoot a few games. small talk amongst us!!! The whole time D.O.C. keeps asking me "are you o.k, do you need another drink, yadda yadda" Mr. whack date is talkink shit on the table, yeah he was good but hell i'm not impressed!!!! (He lost me when he took his shirt off and decided he had to play in his wife beater!!! I don't have a problem with wife beaters.....they can be a fashion accessory....done right).

Whack man goes to talk on his cell. Frame damage goes to the restroom. The D.O.C. says "Ma where you from" I say Chicago. "He says get out of here!!! What side?" Turns out we are from the same area.....small talk about home....yadda yadda. Frame damage tries to get in on the convo..........."what do you do?" I'm a nurse.........what do you do? "i'm a food server" oh that's cool!! (What else do I say?) D.O.C. "that must be rewarding" Yeah I luv it!!! Mean while mr. WHACK date is all chatty with frame damage.....D.O.C is kissey face with frame damage and me....i'm cool!!!

After 4 or 5 games of pool, mr. whack date says lets go!!! He walks out 1st followed by D.O.C. I notice mr. whack left his shirt on the stool! I go to pick it up and frame damage walks up to me and says "are both his cuff links on the shirt" Me hell I dunno!!! She grabs the sleeves one by one and inspects for the cuff links..................what the hell? So I carry whack man's shirt out!!! I say goodbye to the bartender..........my entertainment for the evening!!! We get outside and dude says " I have to take them home" Me o.k. cool I'm going to get something to eat. "Well why don't you get me something and meet me arournd the corner at my house while I take them home"

What the hell? Who the fuck does he think I am? Who says that? I am new to the dating game!!!! Who fucking assumes that I am going to your house after buying me 3 drinks and practically ignoring me ALL NITE!!!!

So I take his money...........why cause he's an ASSHOLE He hands me $10 and I skeet off. This is where I ditch his sorry ass!!!! I immediately call my gurlfriend to point out all the whackness!!!!

Gurlfriend: Dee are you just gonna leave???

Me: yep....he's whack

Gurlfriend: you gonna call him?

Me: nope!!! He just assumed I wanted to go to his house!!!

Gurlfriend: But you have his money!!

Me: $10..... he owed me that for all the "feels he got"

Gurlfriend: you are NUTZ!!!

Me: no i'm real!!!! I never told his ass I wanted to go to his house!!!! In fact i told him our 1st date had to be in a public place!!! After 3 cocktails he thinks I changed my mind? ASSHOLE!!!

Gurlfriend: what happens when you see him?

Me: I don't have to say shit!!!!

as the convo goes on and on.....he clicks in 15 times!!!!! RED FLAGS!!!!! 15 CALLS!!!! WHAT THE FUCK!!!!

1ST OFF he expected me to wait while he took frame damage and D.O.C. home!!!

2nd he expected me to go to your house after I watched you chat it up with frame damage and D.O.C. after I said NOT on the 1st date!!!

3rd who brings another couple without telling the other party?

4th there was noooooooooo chemistry!!!! PERIOD!!!! No conversation!!!!

I could go on and on!!!!! Y'ALL FEEL FREE TO TELL ME IF I'M WRONG!!!!!

By the time I got home he had called 15 times and 4 messages!!!! I stopped at my local taco shop and picked up my snack courtesy of mr. WHACK date. I call my gurl cause she HAS to hear the messages!!!! I was just going to eat my tacos and go to bed!!! She calls my voicemail on the 3-way.

message 1: Dee this is Whack date. How did you get lost 2 blocks from my house? Call me!!!

message 2: Dee this is Whack date. I don't know whats wrong with your dam phone but you need to fix it!!!

Now we are laughing soooooo freaking hard!!!!

message 3: Dee this is BULLSHIT!!!! I send you to get me some tacos somehow you get lost!!!! You will not answer your phone. You are full of shit!!!

now i'm laughing.......crying........

message 4: dee you should have been here by now!!!! I know you wanted my boy any way!!! He is "taller" I saw you watching him anyway!!!! I know you want to fuck him!!! You messed up!!! You could have had a "real man" you stupid bitch!!!

SCREEEEEECH pump you brakes Whack man!!!!!

1st you don't know what happened!!!!

my phone could have died!!!

I could have been pulled over!!!

I could have had an emergency!!!

A million other things could have happened!!!! Yeah I ditched him and I'm glad I did!!! He showed his ASS!!!!

WHACK!!!!!!

Tuesday, August 09, 2005

Lessons in being the BIGGER person!!

I found out yesterday that my ex moved up in rank. He told my younger son on Friday. I was out on Friday nite. While we were getting ready for our road trip on Saturday morning, my youngest said "mom dad is a chief now" I said oooh really. He said yeah he called last nite but you were out and James was at work. He said "mom is that good"? I said yeah that's really good!!! He said "are you happy for dad"? I paused for a second...yeah of course i'm happy for your dad. He has worked really hard in the Navy and he deserves it!!!! DAM THAT WAS HARD TO GET OUT!!!! He said "well mom if you are happy for him than so am I" That response floored me!!!!!

BIG FLASHING LIGHT!!!!! My feelings for him totally effect the boys!!!! I mean I never ever talk bad about the sperm donor in front of the boys!!! Shit thats what girlfriends and my blog are for!!!! LOL My mom never talked bad about my dad either. We found out on our own and made our own impressions of my father.

He (my ex) called me yesterday at work. Caught me off gaurd. We have not talked in a few weeks cause he fucked me out of $400 in July which really screwed me up!!! I had to pay my rent late along with a $85 late fee!!!!! I was hot as a firecracker!!!! Antywho he calls me yesterday to ask about back-to-school shopping. I told him Harry is this weekend and James is next weekend. He said cool!! E-mail me or call me and tell me the total and I will deposit my HALF into your account!!! I DON'T KNOW WHY I CAN'T EVER GET MY SHIT UP FRONT!!!! WE'VE BEEN APART FOR 4 YEARS AND SHIT HAS NOT CHANGED!!! HE KNOWS WHAT THEY NEED!!!!

EX: I made cheif

me: good for you!!!

EX: yeah I have my ceremony next month!!

me: i'm really happy for you!!!

EX: really?

me: why wouldn't I be? By the way Grandma, Tee-Tee(my aunt) and uncle John will be in Italy for 3 days next month!!! They want to spend time with you if you don't mind..

EX: they still want to see me?

me: yeah they ask about you all the time!!! They still love you....just cause we are not together doesn't mean shit to my family!!! You are family!!

EX: that's cool shit!!!

me: my family is not like yours!!! They wouldn't CUT YOU OFF!!!!

EX: loooonnnggg pause that's fucked up!!

me: what?

EX: my family...the way they treated you when we seperated....

me: i'm over it!!!!

EX: I miss my family!!!

me: me too!!

EX: I mean you and the boys!!!

me: silence.........I'm sorry

EX: me too!!!

me: I gotta get back to work!!!! (big fat lie)

EX: I understand...let me know what I owe you!!!

me: Thanks I will!!!

Ex: When I get my increase in pay I will be able to help out more!!!!

me: cool......thanks!!


It's hard being the BIGGER person!!! I am still hurt about the things my ex husband did to ruin our marriage, but still I wish him the best cause I know it's the RIGHT thing to do!!! He filed for divorce after finding out I was with the LIAR. We had decided to stay seperated for finacial reasons/obligations until we could both afford lawyers. He found out I was with the LIAR filed in Chicago and I could not afford at the time to fly to court and represent myself....nor could I afford representation at the time!!!! SHIESTY on his part....but hey still no ill will!!! Quite a few times I really needed the extra help from him and he claimed he didn't have it..................still no ill will!!!!

IT'S HARD AS HELL BEING THE BIGGER PERSON!!!!! WHEN KIDS ARE INVOLVED.........YOU JUST HAVE TOO!!!



Monday, August 08, 2005

Homesick........

Saturday morning I decide to go visit my aunt. I had not seen her since March. She lives about an hour and a half away! She is my O.N.L.Y. relative in Cali. Me and my youngest gas up at 9 a.m and hit the freeway.

That evening we hop in her truck and head to her best friends house. She is also my aunt in my eyes. She and my aunt headed out to California right after highschool together. She has been around my WHOLE life. We hung out at her house laughing and drinking. Talking about old times.

Sunday we went to brunch at an AWESOME jazz brunch club. There was a live jazz artist. He came to our table to sign my aunts cd she purchased. Guess what? He is from Chicago too!!!! Now for thoose of you that don't know.......us Chicagoans are a rare breed!!!! When we get together.............we had such a good time tallinkg about home!!!!

Overall it was nice to be around loved ones. I miss my family!!!!! California is great but there is no place like home!!!!

HAPPY MONDAY!!!!!!

Friday, August 05, 2005

Friend or foe?

Thanks for all the great advice yesterday!!! I was thinking while stuck in traffic yesterday. If the LIARS best friends gurl knew ALL about his antics and tried to establish a friendship with me..............I have to doubt her character, integrity....etc.......if I am going back and forth wondering how I can maintain/establish a friendship with her...........I should just leave it alone!!!! I should cut all ties!!!!! Proactiff said it best......Maybe I just thought she was cool cause of the situation with the"liar" and we had goodtimes together!!!! I have also cut the "liars" mom off cause I FELT SHE SHOULD NOT HAVE ESTABLISHED A FRIENDSHIP WITH ME!!! Now I realize she was just minding her own business so to speak...(that's what she tells me). That is a whole post in itself!!!!

Thanks to all my blog fam for the good advice!!!! I can not maintain/establish a REAL friendship with her knowing that her man is just as bad as the LIAR....I will keep away from everthing/everyone that has to do with LIAR!!!

You guys give GREAT advice!!!!

HAPPY FRIDAY!!!! HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND!!!!

Thursday, August 04, 2005

I should have known!!!!!

Last nite I woke up to the the show C.H.E.A.T.E.R.S. I fell asleep with the t.v on.

Now why is this a big deal you may ask? CHEATERS WAS THE LIARS favorite show!!!! He would wake me up and say "babe look at this" when some good episode was on. If we were not in the same bed.....he would call me and say "babe, turn to channel 5.......it's a good one tonight". He would even record the "good" episodes to play in his truck!!!!!

Anyone who gets that excited over a show that catches LIARS in the act of cheating..........

I SHOULD HAVE KKNOWN HE WAS A FUCKING LIAR!!!!!

HELLO ANYONE WHO LOVES A CHEATING SHOW THAT MUCH..........................

I guess all theese feelings came out because I talked to the "liars" best friends girlfriend. I have not spoken to her since the big break up!!!! I just wanted to seperate myself from all that had to do with THE LIAR. She e-mailed me and I replied. She responded back quick. wrote back and she replied call me at work.

I called her at work. This is the convo:

me: hey lady how are you? How are the kids?

liars.friend: we are all good! Me and "the liars friend" just got back together!

me: oooh I hope it works out!!!

liars.friend: we broke up in May.

me: Well I know you know about me and the LIAR by now!!!

liars.friend: yeah well gurl he's not worth it.

me; I will be fine!!! I was hurt for a while but i'm getting better!!!

liars.friend: Dee I hope we can still hang out!!! I told "liars.boy that I miss your company.

me: we will do better at keeping in touch!!! I lost my phone and I need your number again!!!

liars.friend: please do Dee......

I just have a lil problem because I know she knew!!!! She is the LIARS best friends gurl!!! I'm sure he brought that other chick around and i'm sure she knew he is married!!!! I know it's not her responsibility to tell me that the LIAR aint shit!!!!! Just like it's not my job to tell her her man aint shit!!! He has introduced me to SEVERAL chicks.........

I wou,ld rather just seperate myself.....it's not my business to tell her shit!!! Just like it was not her business to tell me shit!!! You know? I remember me the LIAR and liars best friend were out one nite and he said to me: "I don't have a future with her!!! Look she has THREE kids and an ex-husband!!!! I ame 36 single with no KIDS......why would I want to be with her the rest of my life?" Me and LIAR talked about it all the way home......I feel bad cause she has no clue!!!!!

Am I wrong for staying away? I know it's not my place cause we only met through the guys but dam......I feel bad cause she is ALL INTO HIS ASS!!!!! I know he thought that when me and the LIAR broke up that I would tell!!!!! Naaw I don't want anyone to hurt!!!!!! She is cool as hell to kick it with!!!!!

DO I MAINTAIN OUR FRIENDSHIP KNOWING?

Does that make me a LIAR?

Monday, August 01, 2005

More answers.........

Here are the rest of your questions answered.

ORGANIZED NOISE ASKED:
1: Where would I live besides San Diego?

I would like to live in Hawaii. Because my mom is there and she has missed so much of the boys lives!!! Other than that I would live anywhere it doesn't snow!!!

2: When men see me, what's the 1st thing they notice?

The obvious....i'm 5'11" I always wear at least a 2" heeled shoe. I luv my height. I hated it in High school....but as an adult I luv it!!! I hate it when men state the obvious...."dam you are tall"!!! DUH!!! I also don't like it when really short men approach me........we would look like a freak show together!!! LOL

3:Where are we going when I get to NYC?

Sweetie we are going EVERYWHERE!!!! YOU WILL BE MY TOUR GUIDE!!!!

SWEET_BAJAN ASKED:

1: What is my favorite genre of books?

I read black fiction. I also am getting int erotica.....I will read almost anything if it's good!!!

2: What kind of flicks do I like?
I luv almost all of it!!! I am building a hell of a collection!!! I really like the 3somes. 1 on 1 is o.k but hell it gets a lil boring after a while............lol 2 men one gurl 2 gurls one guy!!!

3:do I own any sex toys?

Does the sun rise in the East and set in the west? LMAO!!!! i always tell my friends "you know my boyfriend lives in the drawer"!!!! I have to hide my batteries from the kids!!! LOL

MS. MYRAH ASKED:

1: Have I seen someone naked and laughed?

Not the patients I have worked with.............LOL but a couple of folks in my personal life!!!! LOL The work Dee is sooooo opposite the home Dee!!!

2: How long have I been a Nurse?

I have been a nurse for 9 years now!!! I love it....I couldn't see myself doing anything else!!!! all my friends say I should do stand up comedy but naaahh cause if I get booed or heckled I would want to fight!!!! LOL

3:Have I ever been in the military?

No I have not. I was a military wife for my entire marriage!!! My ex is still in the Navy!!! I feel like I was in the Navy!!!

BULLET PROOF DIVA ASKED:

1: If I was a drink, what would I be?

I would be a shot of 100 proof!!!! Cause I give it to you straight!!! NO CHASER!!!

2: Do I remember my 1st kiss?

No!! I think it was with Antwan Love though. He lived next door to my Grandma!!!

3: If I could live anywhere in the world for free, where would it be?

Hawaii with my mom. My kids miss her soooo much!!! she has been around them their whole lives!!!! Not like my ex-mother-in-law!!!

MUFFIN ASKED:

1: What's my middle name?

Lynn.......I like it. It goes well with my real name!!!! I know y'all don't think my mom named me Dee!!! Do you?

2: automatic or stick?

Automatic!!! I didn't learn to drive stick until I was 30!!! My car broke down and my husbands truck was parked in the garage......He was out to sea for 6 months!!!! I pulled that dam truck out of the dam garage and it took me a week......but I got it!!!!

3:What snack can I not live with?

Gurl that's a tough one!!!! I LOVE chips!!!!! Shit I luv ice cream!!!!! Hell I LUUUUVVV chocolate too!!! Yep you guessed it!!!! I AM A SNACK-AHOLIC!!!!!

MRS.T.J ASKED:

1: Boxers or briefs?

I prefer N.A.K.E.D. but boxers will do!!!

2: Anywhere in the world I would live?

Hawaii....for all the reasons I listed!!! I miss my Mom!!!

3: My favorite meal?

gurl I love food!!!! from Thai to sushi to Mexican, Italian to good ol soul food!!! I don't count carbs or calories!!! I have never been on a diet in my life!!! I quit drinking beer once for a month and did'nt loose a pound!!! That was a crock of bullshit!!! On the 31st day I went and got a 6 pack.......since it didn't help my 6 pack!!!! LOL
GIRL I LOVE TO EAT!!!!!!

CUTIE COLA ASKED:

1: most embarassing moment?

I can't really recall one!!! I don't get embarassed!!! I am soooo silly and goofy.......shit nuthin really bothers me!!!!

2: What do I look for in a man?

shit after being with 2 BIG FUCKING LIARS IN A ROW!!!!!! HONESTY!!!!
I luv deep dark chocolate!! Tall....at least 6'1" ( I like to wear at least a little heel). I luv nice white teeth. Must have a sense of humor!!!! He must be a gentleman!!! And last but not least...................he must be really good at GETTIN NAKED!!!! You know what I mean?

3: If I could live anywhere in the world?

y'all know the answer.....Hawaii with my mom!!

SUDANI72 ASKED:

1: If I had 5 seconds to talk with God, what would I ask her?

This one made me think long and hard!!!!! I would ask her If i served my purpose her on earth!!!!

2: if I had 5 seconds with the devil?

Why are you soooo fucking busy? Why don't you just leave people A.L.O.N.E.?

3: Did I peeped you called God a her?

yeah i peeped it....i'm feelin you!!!!

4: have I ever farted during sex?

yeah and I don't feel soo bad about it!!! but if he's about to have the buffet and I have to go............that sucks!!!! Holding it in............oooohhhh!!!

MEKA ASKED:

1: Where do I see me in 10 years?

I have not put much thought into that!!!! I have been through soooo much the past 5 years!!!! I just try and live for today!!!!! So much pain involved with my seperation and then divorce. My Dad died then my Grandma!!!! Becoming a single mom when I never wanted too be!!!! I have to think about it!!!! I just want to BE HAPPY!!!!

2: My favorite song?

MUSIC MAKES ME HIGH!!!!! I luv music!!!! I could never narrow it down to one song....one artist......or even one album!!! OOOh you know i'm old school.....I said album!!!!

3: one thing I want to do but I haven't?

I want to go on a cruise!!!! I want to do a few sexual things but we have had more than enough sex talk!!!

SMV ASKED:

1: Who was my blog inspiration?

My lil brother started a blog to keep us updated on my nephews growth and their move from Hawaii to Seattle!! Through a gazillion links I found this gurl called "around the way gurl" I stalked her for months and she told me to start blogging!!!! Now I'm HOOKED!!!!

2: What would I ask God?

I would ask if I have done what was expected of me....Did I serve my purpose here?

3: Any advice for a mom with two young boys?

Gurl I have sooo much but every child and situation is different!!!! I raise my boys to know that they can count on me!!!! I am open and honest with them!!!! I make sure they know that I am not PERFECT!!! I let them see me cry.....they see me happy and sad....the know when i'm BROKE......I admit when i'm wrong!!!! I apologize when I fuck up!!!!! I let them know that life is hard !!!! I tell them to A.L.W.A.Y.S. Treat people the way you want to be treated!!!!!!

As for you mamma....you HAVE to make time for you!!!! It's hard when they are young and you need a baby sitter and shit but MAKE TIME!!!!! YOU DESERVE IT!!!!!

MS. COLEY ASKED?

1: Where did I grow up?

Born and raised in Chicago!!!! Miss my city but would never ever ever ever go back to live!!!!!!

2:why did I move here to San Diego?

my ex is Navy....we lived in Long Beah 5 years and when the Naval Base closed......we moved here!!!! I liked Long Beach better cause I could get to Hollywood, L.a all over.....here it's just HERE!!!!! Oh an Mexico!!! LOL

3: My biggest addiction besides blogging?

SEX....SEX....SEX....AND MORE SEX!!!! I don't know something happened when I turned 30 .....it's like a switch got turned on and BAM!!!!! Oh it's called SEPERATION FROM MY HUSBAND WHO I WAS WITH MY WHOLE ADULT LIFE!!!! lol

This was fun!!!! Will I do it again? hell to the naw!!!! Y'all know I can't type!!!!!!!