Wednesday, August 10, 2005

Put this in the WHACK date files!!!

I decided to meet a dude I had been talking to on the phone for about a week. He wanted me to meet him at his house.....of course I declined!!! We decided to meet at a local bar near his house. Now that I think about it....that was a set-up!

!st we were supposed to meet at 9ish after I picked James up from work!!! I was running a lil late I got there about 9:30. I call his cell he says he almost there. I say cool cause I was late too!! He pulls up behind me. I look in the rearview no he does not have people in the car with his ass!!!! He freakin has a couple in the car with him!!!!

We get out and I give him a hug. He introduces me to "frame damage" and the D.O.C. (ooohhh weeee) We walk in the bar.........they all go to the bathroom which leaves me at the bar. I order my gimlet and make small talk with the bartender. I ADAPT to any situation. They come out and WHACKMAN sits by me, frame damage, is next to him, and the D.O.C. on the end. WHACKMAN places his hand on my back a lil too long!!!! I'm not with the rub-a-dub-dub and you don't even know my last name!!!! So I scoot over a lil bit to let him know i'm not cool!! He goes on and on about how fine I look. Then he asks me to stand upand take my shoes off so he can see how tall I am. What the fuck? I wore what I consider flats cause I am tall and I usually like to wear 2-3" heels. I wore lil 1" sandals to see where dudes head was!!!! I said I will stand up but i'm not taking my shoes off!!! We stood up and stood shoulder to shoulder looking in the mirror. He said "dam you are tall" I said yeah the same height I was when you met me!!!

When I met his whack ass I had on a much higher heel!!! What's the problem? Oh we are not in the club!!! I'm not showing A.N.Y. skin!!! I should have got up and left matter of fact I should have not even got out of my car when he pulled up with "frame damage" and the D.O.C.!!! SIDE NOTE: Y'all remember the D.O.C. rapper from back in the day....rhaspy voice....all thugged out.....N.W.A. oooohhh weeee tall big piece of a man.........END SIDE NOTE!!!

They are making small talk about the baseball game they just left and I am shooting the shit with Chris the bartender. They decide to shoot pool. I don't play pool. I don't mind watching at ALL as long as the bar is OPEN!! LOL So they shoot a few games. small talk amongst us!!! The whole time D.O.C. keeps asking me "are you o.k, do you need another drink, yadda yadda" Mr. whack date is talkink shit on the table, yeah he was good but hell i'm not impressed!!!! (He lost me when he took his shirt off and decided he had to play in his wife beater!!! I don't have a problem with wife beaters.....they can be a fashion accessory....done right).

Whack man goes to talk on his cell. Frame damage goes to the restroom. The D.O.C. says "Ma where you from" I say Chicago. "He says get out of here!!! What side?" Turns out we are from the same area.....small talk about home....yadda yadda. Frame damage tries to get in on the convo..........."what do you do?" I'm a nurse.........what do you do? "i'm a food server" oh that's cool!! (What else do I say?) D.O.C. "that must be rewarding" Yeah I luv it!!! Mean while mr. WHACK date is all chatty with frame damage.....D.O.C is kissey face with frame damage and me....i'm cool!!!

After 4 or 5 games of pool, mr. whack date says lets go!!! He walks out 1st followed by D.O.C. I notice mr. whack left his shirt on the stool! I go to pick it up and frame damage walks up to me and says "are both his cuff links on the shirt" Me hell I dunno!!! She grabs the sleeves one by one and inspects for the cuff links..................what the hell? So I carry whack man's shirt out!!! I say goodbye to the entertainment for the evening!!! We get outside and dude says " I have to take them home" Me o.k. cool I'm going to get something to eat. "Well why don't you get me something and meet me arournd the corner at my house while I take them home"

What the hell? Who the fuck does he think I am? Who says that? I am new to the dating game!!!! Who fucking assumes that I am going to your house after buying me 3 drinks and practically ignoring me ALL NITE!!!!

So I take his money...........why cause he's an ASSHOLE He hands me $10 and I skeet off. This is where I ditch his sorry ass!!!! I immediately call my gurlfriend to point out all the whackness!!!!

Gurlfriend: Dee are you just gonna leave???

Me: yep....he's whack

Gurlfriend: you gonna call him?

Me: nope!!! He just assumed I wanted to go to his house!!!

Gurlfriend: But you have his money!!

Me: $10..... he owed me that for all the "feels he got"

Gurlfriend: you are NUTZ!!!

Me: no i'm real!!!! I never told his ass I wanted to go to his house!!!! In fact i told him our 1st date had to be in a public place!!! After 3 cocktails he thinks I changed my mind? ASSHOLE!!!

Gurlfriend: what happens when you see him?

Me: I don't have to say shit!!!!

as the convo goes on and on.....he clicks in 15 times!!!!! RED FLAGS!!!!! 15 CALLS!!!! WHAT THE FUCK!!!!

1ST OFF he expected me to wait while he took frame damage and D.O.C. home!!!

2nd he expected me to go to your house after I watched you chat it up with frame damage and D.O.C. after I said NOT on the 1st date!!!

3rd who brings another couple without telling the other party?

4th there was noooooooooo chemistry!!!! PERIOD!!!! No conversation!!!!

I could go on and on!!!!! Y'ALL FEEL FREE TO TELL ME IF I'M WRONG!!!!!

By the time I got home he had called 15 times and 4 messages!!!! I stopped at my local taco shop and picked up my snack courtesy of mr. WHACK date. I call my gurl cause she HAS to hear the messages!!!! I was just going to eat my tacos and go to bed!!! She calls my voicemail on the 3-way.

message 1: Dee this is Whack date. How did you get lost 2 blocks from my house? Call me!!!

message 2: Dee this is Whack date. I don't know whats wrong with your dam phone but you need to fix it!!!

Now we are laughing soooooo freaking hard!!!!

message 3: Dee this is BULLSHIT!!!! I send you to get me some tacos somehow you get lost!!!! You will not answer your phone. You are full of shit!!!

now i'm laughing.......crying........

message 4: dee you should have been here by now!!!! I know you wanted my boy any way!!! He is "taller" I saw you watching him anyway!!!! I know you want to fuck him!!! You messed up!!! You could have had a "real man" you stupid bitch!!!

SCREEEEEECH pump you brakes Whack man!!!!!

1st you don't know what happened!!!!

my phone could have died!!!

I could have been pulled over!!!

I could have had an emergency!!!

A million other things could have happened!!!! Yeah I ditched him and I'm glad I did!!! He showed his ASS!!!!



Blogger Nikki said...

15 fuckin' calls? Yeah, it was best that you left his ass alone.

10:36 AM  
Blogger Msnhim said...

LMAO.... that was funny! 15 times... sounds like the early stages of stalking.

10:38 AM  
Blogger Schatzi said...

ROFLMAO! Whack isn't the correct name for him! lol

I'm not mad at ya for takin his funky $10! LOL

10:52 AM  
Blogger Brandi said...

OMG I am laughing my ass off! What a freakin asshole!

11:15 AM  
Anonymous Xquizzyt1 said...

OMG... wow... 15 calls??? Umm... I'm gonna go on a limb and say that was overkill. LOL

Umm... my own MOMMA won't call me 15 times... and I used to live INSIDE her. LOL

He's out of control... though I was mad at you for taking his money. ROFLMAO You're hilarious.

11:23 AM  
Blogger said...

At least he gave you a way out. If you ever do run into him you can just say regardless of what happened when I got the 15 missed calls and the voice mail with Bitch in it. I figured I was letting you off easy with a $10 fine. I would have to call him and leave him a message or something. Just to let him know how "Bitches" really do! And of course you have to throw in "You was too short anyways" HA! That will kill him.

11:41 AM  
Blogger muffin said...

oh hell to the no! that was WHACK for real! *GRRR* anyways i still love me some D.O.C. didn't him and erykah have a baby girl?

12:03 PM  
Blogger Sheron said...

Check you out, hanging with (former) celebs and stuff. Glad you ran off with the WHACK STALKER's $10. He better take this as a lesson learned and get his shyt together... and keep his damn shirt on next time too! LOL

12:26 PM  
Blogger Aziza said...

Isn't it funny how folks like Whack get crazier and crazier and crazier with each next phone message? He started off cool in the first message. Then he got somewhat annoyed. And later on he got downright mad. But I bet it was funny to listen to. *lol*

12:40 PM  
Blogger Dee said...

He was not the real D.O.C he just looked like him!!!!

I sent his ignorant ass a text this morning telling him $10 was my payment for putting me thru 2 hours with his whack disrespectful ass!!!!

12:42 PM  
Blogger The Princess Herself said...

LMAO! OMG! Ditched the brutha AND kept his money. Classic.

1:00 PM  
Blogger MEP said...

Oh my lord, it is a good thing that you ditched his sorry ass. He clearly does not know how to behave!

And his blow up on your cell phone. . . damn. He has got some issues!

1:05 PM  
Blogger courtneyelizabeth said...


1:17 PM  
Blogger courtneyelizabeth said...

next time snatch up a taco for

1:17 PM  
Blogger Kayla said...

LMAO! That was funny as hell! That's what I'm talking about! He got what he deserved! 15 calls??? That's crazy. You right he showed his ass.

1:42 PM  
Blogger sonyared said...

What a freakin' turn off he is! Double yuck! I would have did the same thing...I luv it when people think they have so much control over u that they just show their ass! Plus he doesn't need to be calling you no 15 times..he must be out of his mind..Oh no u were not wrong...between him and Mr. "I'm seperated, but I still live with her"..I don't know who was more pitiful...umm(thinking) Okay this dude takes the cake. He get's put on the wall of shame..LOL

4:59 PM  
Blogger Nia said...

LMAO!!! OMG that is sooooo funny not 15 calls though...girl I have to agree though you could've had a real man. What was up with the bartender? LOL

5:21 PM  
Anonymous Coley said...

ROFLMFAO!!!!!!! Oh my goooodneeesss, that man's got straight issues! See this is why I'm taking a dating hiatus! I'm so T.I.R.E.D.... OF WHACK ASS MEN!!!!

8:57 PM  
Blogger Diva said...

15 damn calls....lawd have mercy. Someone (who shall remain nameless) *cough* called my cell over 23x one night back to back. The girls and I were on vacation last month when he did that. I was so hot! I called him back and said "What the *bleep* is wrong with your psycho ass?"
Speaking of, he'll be in your town next week.

9:29 PM  
Blogger MeCrazyMe said...

ROFLMAO!!!!! lets call him Wacky, Tacky, Yuky Date who is 3 years old.

10:14 PM  
Blogger Cutie Cola said...

Girl, I tried dating a while back and hated it. You were smart to ditch his ass when you did, too bad you didn't come out of it with a $100!! He's one fucked up brother. Next time you need to do a background check :-)

11:21 PM  
Blogger button_nose said...

LOL!! 15 times!! Damn brother had it bad or what! Girl be glad you got the hell out of dodge before it got any worse...although 15 calls was a bit on the stalker side.

Only you Dee, only you! :)

11:28 PM  
Blogger brooklyn babe said...

Whoah. Turn the page, and roll the f_kin credits, the fat lady has song of this one.... lol
Moving right along....

8:28 AM  
Blogger Closet Owner said...


Frame Damage.

This is some funny shyte.

ps. Get a pistol

1:54 PM  
Blogger princessdominique said...

WHACK isn't the word!

1:55 PM  
Blogger Serenity23 said...

15 times? Um, that's a little bit obsessive. And you flirting with that man's friend huh? HA! HA! And please tell me his friend wasn't proud of being a damn waiter.... Ok, I won't knock his job b/c at least he has one and everyone has a place here on this earth. But I'm thanking God that waitress ain't my calling. Especially a grown ass man....

5:39 PM  

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