Monday, January 23, 2006

It just is what it is.................

Happy Monday y'all!!!!

I have read over ALL the comments. You all have some valid points and I thought a lot about what I want.

I have decided that my "hesitation" so to speak is from FEAR!!!! I sat dude down and told him exactly how I felt. I explained to him that I would rather us become "friends" real friends 1st before becoming a couple!!! He didn't like the idea. Just like I thought his idea was because we were/are having sex..we were a couple.........WHAT THE HELL????? Who in this day and age thinks that?????? So it's my fault for not making that clear before engaging in "adult naked fun"............What I should have said before the 1st sexual encounter is "hey we are gonna have sex but i'm not your gurl"!!!!

So on that note...............I told him that we will eliminate ALL.NAKED.FUN.UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE!!!!!!!! Let's build a REAL friendship I told him!!!!! He looked at me like I had 3 fucking heads!!!!!!

Hmmmmppphhh that shit didn't go over very well!!!!!!

I'm sticking to it!!!!!

o.k you all can chew my ass out now i'm ready!!!!!!

How was YOUR weekend?????


Blogger Msnhim said...

No ass chewing here I think you need to do whats right for you.... although the " no adult Naked fun" thing may be hard to stick to..... Good luck!

8:46 AM  
Blogger Butter Pecan said...

Seems like ya did what ya needed to do. Now ya wish ya would have made things a little clearer to him. If he really likes ya he will stick around and let nature take it course.

9:26 AM  
Blogger Honest said...

Good luck chica.

9:50 AM  
Blogger Melinda said...

YOu stupid....Just kidding. I am feeling your talk with him. Sometimes sex just complicates stuff when both people to view what it means the same way..Sometimes elliminating completly for a lil bit keeps things simple. And hey if he can't handle it then fuck him and he wasn't worth the time!

10:13 AM  
Blogger Closet Owner said...

Good move here. I am of the sound opinion that all good relationships start out as friendships.

10:35 AM  
Blogger TTD said...

i agree w/ closet owner.. if he's not willing to be a FRIEND, then what kind of boyfriend could/would he be.. you do what's best for you.. and if he can't handle it, then his lost..

11:34 AM  
Blogger MsDMarie said...

Unfortunately, sex complicates everything. It may be somewhat difficult to stop the sex now that you've already gone there but good luck:) That's why I have a couple different resources...get my sex from one and friendship/companionship from another. Would be nice to have them combined but...

12:21 PM  
Blogger said...

You have been tagged!

12:38 PM  
Blogger Serial_Dater said...

Man do you sound like a woman I'd like. I swear, if i kiss a girl too long she thinks we in a relationship. loll

12:49 PM  
Blogger chele said...

What's he all mad about? It's not as though you're having naked fun with anyone else.

Or are you?

1:50 PM  
Blogger That Girl Tam said...

First of all, I don't chew on ANYONE'S ASS! Come on now...ewww...ass chewin, I'll leave that for people more into that kinda shit! HAHAHAHA - gross Dee...I didn't know you got down like that...phreak! ((rollin eyes))

Glad you talked to, I'd kick his ass to the curb now...but that's just ME! If a man can't understand your position or at least respect it, why waste your time. Good dick is always attached to someone stupid (more times than not) me. And as for the adult naked fun...I mean, you can do that alone for the time being! You've got 10 fingers and you prolly got some toys in that special section of your dresser drawer...handle it gurl! *wink*

1:53 PM  
Blogger P said...

From Miss Devil's Advocate.

I agree with closet owner and generally everyone else,

BUT. . .

He prolly sees this as more of rejection, than a cart before a horse kind of thing that you are trying to reverse, so to speak.

If someone told me they wanted to stop the extracurricular activities all of a sudden, I would be suspicious. He probably thinks he is transitioning to 'friend' status, like "Oh, we're just friends" kind of this, which to guys, is the kiss of death.

I do believe, however, that, as everyone says, that sex complicates things, and the reason why sexual relationships usually end is not because one or the other stops enjoying each other; rather, because one starts wanting more than the other.

Once he sees that your intent is to grow in the friendship, which will eventually grow the relationship as a whole, he will feel a whole lot better. He might have to use his hands a little more, but hey, such is life.

2:03 PM  
Blogger BajanQueen said...

Do you did the right thing.

The talking before doing the nookey thing....come on you wasn't getting none for a while, we understand!! ~lol~

Just stick to your word, don't falter no matter what!

To quote msnhim Good luck!


3:50 PM  
Blogger Cutie Cola said...

Hey, you stated what was on your mind and that's that. He now has to deal with it. Trust me, if he really cares for you, he ain't going nowhere. However, please don't let fear drive you too far away from his love. That can be a destructive thing too. I know, I've been there quite a few times. Good luck.

4:58 PM  
Blogger African girl, American world said...

withholding the coochie....I like it!! It gets them everytime :) I hope he gets your point cause y'all seem to be on different pages except for the naked fun part :(

5:32 PM  
Blogger Kayla said...

Girl, do you. You did what you wanted to do and what you felt you needed to, so I say, congratulations. Hopefully, things will go as you want them too. I wish you well, chica!

7:29 PM  
Blogger princessdominique said...

Adult naked fun *lol* You really like him Dee, go for it.

8:28 PM  
Blogger ddsprncs said...

Well, I guess he was confused, Some people do think sex = relationship, I guess that needs to be brought up first, but now you know and knowing is half the battle!

9:46 PM  
Blogger Rhonda said...

LOL This is so funny to read cause I sort of did the same thing with my boo. I had to cut the shit off a bit so I could and he could prove to me he really wanted this and I had nothing to be afraid of. Girl stand your ground - I will say it again, if he wants you and he likes you he will give you what you need. I am not afraid anymore and a little time is all I needed. By him giving it to me only make me like him that much more.

4:44 AM  
Blogger Guide_to_life said...

Read the blog and enjoyed the post. I have a few of my homies who are like that when they meet a girl. After they have sex it's my girl this and my girl that. But your right w/ some guys you might have to rethink your sexual encounters and make sure you guys are both in it for the "adult naked fun" and that's it

4:56 AM  
Blogger MEP said...

I think you did the right thing Dee. Of course, I think he jumped to some conclusions, but I'm glad you opened the floodgates and had an honest conversation about things. If he's worth your time, he'll stick around.

Good luck!

6:25 AM  
Blogger Shai said...

I agree it was good to sit down with him. Maybe coming from another point of view he would get it.

I do have to say that "adult fun" must be treaded very carefully these days. Having a mature conversation before the "fun" begins helps.

Yes, so people think once you have sex it is more, especially if the person has some feelings attached to it. And some folks are still old school about sex. So it is best to know what page the person is on.

My bestfriend said to me that you have to be careful with sex cause sometimes one of you may come up with feelings after the act.

7:10 AM  
Blogger defiant goddess said...

This reminds me of something that happened to ... a friend of mine. ;)

The guy was all upset because some things were said "in the moment" that he took to heart. He didn't understand there is such a thing as "sex talk." Hahaha!

You would think in the 21st century people would understand that sex and love are not synonymous. Maybe they should be but they aren't. And wasn't it the guys who made that clear in the first place?

9:06 AM  
Anonymous Nikki said...

You were right to cease on the sex. Develop that friendship and trust first.

9:53 AM  
Blogger Honey-Libra said...

Good for you girlie. First time at the blog but I will be back. I need to put my foot down more but that "naked adult fun" is sometimes just too fun LOL

11:16 AM  
Blogger brooklyn babe said...

So I guess Naked Twister is out huh? Ooh wait that would be me, and my date. Oops.

Hey Dee playing catch up!

11:57 AM  

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