Friday, March 31, 2006

Friday happenings!!!!!

HAPPY FRIDAY!!!!!!!!

I had a lil chit chat with that girl TAM last night that really got me thinking!!!!! You know I don't know how 2 link so don't trip................you know where 2 find her.............

She made me realize that if I remove the EMOTION from a lot of situations......shit will not stress me as much!!!! WOW!!!!!! THIS IS REALLY BIG!!!!!

So I have decided that I will not start sending letters to dudes job. I will not call his supervisor and his supervisors supervisor...........not like the chick at his job did me........I'm over it!!!!!! Maybe civil court....maybe!!!!!!!!

I'm excited.................why you ask???Or maybe you don't ask but i'm gonna tell ya!!!!!! I'm going 2 L.A. saturday 2 meet a few bloggers.............yeah!!!! COCKTAILS ANYONE????? I will be meeting TAM and Supa and a few others Saturday evening......P can't make it and i'm a lil sad.............NEXT TIME MS.P!!!!!

It should be fun!!!!!! I have only met one other blogger and that's O(can't link him but you know where he is) and he is hella cool!!!!! We have hung out a few times and he's fun!!! It's nice 2 put a face with the blog!!!!!!

My gurl Vern called me Tuesday nite and said "don't make plans Sunday nite cause i'm taking you 2 see FLOETRY at the House Of Blues" I LOVE MY FRIENDS!!!!!!!!!

Before I go two things !!!!! I had 2 pay a BIG ASS DEPOSIT to the light and gas company!!!!! HOW BIG????? $399 BIG!!!! I paid this in 3 payments about 16 months ago!!!!! Now theese sons of a bitches told me that if I paid my light bill on time for 12 months in a row........I would get my money back!!!!!! yeah yeah I was late paying the light bill ALL.THE.DAM.TIME!!!!! I lived in military housing most of my adult life where there are NO.UTILITY.BILLS!!!!! WHAT??? That's a good excuse right????? Shit my rent was late also for the 1st 4 or 5 months too!!!! shit the Navy had me spoiled............

Anyway all this time i've been looking foward 2 getting my $399 back in April cause that's what the heffas were telling me on the phone......APRIL!!!! So I get on line this morning 2 pay my bill which is due 4/17 mind you......I was FLOORED 2 find out theese ASSHOLES
1. want me 2 pay APRIL bill 1st which mind you comes out 4/26

2. then review the payment history

3. then they want 2 apply $399 worth of credit!!!! OH HELL NO!!!!! WHO NEEDS $399 WORTH OF CREDIT FOR $40 MONTHLY BILLS???????

I SAY UMMM NO THIS IS NOT GOOD FOR ME!!!!! I WOULD LIKE MY MONEY BACK!!!!

she says well the credit will be applied 2 your bill. once you see that it takes about 2-3 WEEKS for you 2 get a check in the mail!!!!!!!

I AM SALTY!!!!!! I HAD THE MONEY SPENT Y'ALL!!!!!!

SDG&E IS THE DEBIL!!!!!!!!

I went out on Wednesday night for some adult interaction. I had fun cause you know I always do!!!!! Can I just say GROWN ASS MEN SHOULD NOT LEAN WITH IT OR ROCK WITH IT!!!!!! YOU ALL LOOK LIKE ASSES!!!!!!!!

Then i met a REAL cutie............6'5" chocolate like I like em........nice convo........polite and hella cool. we exchange numbers and then he hits me with..............................."I'M MOVING 2 ATLANTA ON SUNDAY" What the hell?????? I wasted all my time getting my flirt on and his ass is leaving on Sunday!!!!! I coulda threw my gimlet in his face!!!!!!! WHY?????WHY?????

HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND!!!!!! I WILL!!!!

Monday, March 27, 2006

IS IT WRONG?????

IS IT WRONG FOR ME TO WANT THE PERSON WHO CAUSED ME TO GET TERMINATED, FIRED?????

The person that caused me to get fired still has his job!!!! Why is that????? It's his fault!!!! Period!!!!! He asked me for help and was not honest about his intent!!!!! The woman at HIS job pursed this until I was fired!!! Me and my boss!!!! Do I do the same????? I don't want revenge.....it only seems right!!!!!! Why does he still have a job????? He didn't use the note for the reason he said he was!!!! He tried to get PAID fraudulently............I got fired!!!!!! He didn't!!!!!!!

AM I WRONG??????

Friday, March 24, 2006

DEE'S FEELIN GOOD!!!!

Hey blog fam!!!! Happy Friday!!!!! I'm feelin good.....hence the title of the post!!!!

1st I got my first unemployment check in the mail!!!!! YEAH!!!!!!!!
a sistah has never ever been sooooooo happy to see a check with her name on it!!!!! I had my girlfriends cracking up about my welfare check.........."gurl I gotta mail this form in on this day so my check isn't late" LMAO

Since I was approved for unemployment i will take a few classes I have been wanting to take. I am looking into takining a medical spanish course. I speak a little spanish but no medical terminololgy. In Cali you NEED a lil espanol...................

The reason for the title...........i feel good because i have decided to look at this whole thing different. Yeah I lost my job of 7 years where I was comfy and cozy. Yeah I could pretty much come and go as i pleased. I loved my boss and she loved me and now i will have 2 start all over again with new co-workers and a new boss......new Dr.'s with horrible personalites and bad bedside manner. But you know what???????
IT'S NOT THE END OF THE WORLD!!!!!!

This happened 2 me for a reason and God has a plan for me!!!!!!

I get to take the boys 2 school EVERYDAY!!!!!

I pick them up almost everyday!!!!!!!

They get breakfast most mornings before school!!!!

We get to really talk in the mornings cause i'm not RUSHING to get out the door.

I feel really good.................

My house is SPOTLESS!!!!!!

EVERYDAY!!!!!!!!

The day my youngest was crying because I lost my job.................I felt REALLY bad. REALLY BAD!!!!!

My job does not define who I am as a person as a mom. Money will be tight until I get another job but.........................

I WILL BE FINE!!!!!!!

I have not been blogging all week cause i've been enjoying this nice weather..........DON'T HATE CAUSE SOME OF Y'ALL ARE STILL HAVING WINTER!!!!! lol

HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND!!!!!!! I WILL!!!!!!

Monday, March 20, 2006

I LOVE SPRING!!!!!

IT'S SPRING!!!!! YEAH!!!!!

HELLO spring dresses...............

GOODBYE turtle neck sweaters.......

HELLO strappy sandles.............

GOODBYE boots mules and closed toed shoes..........

Time 2 pack away the winter clothes and break out the spring/summer clothes!!!!

YES I STILL PACK CLOTHES AWAY IN SEASONS EVEN THOUGH I LIVE IN SOUTHERN CALI...............YEAH I KNOW YOU FOLKS IN PLACES WITH REAL SEASONS ARE SHAKING YOUR HEADS AT ME BUT HEY OLD HABITS DIE HARD................

My youngest son woke up yesterday and said "momma lets go to church" so we got up and went!!!! My gurlfriend has been asking me for about a month to visit her church so we went!!!!! She attends my friends family church so I called him and asked him if he was going and he said "yeah my dad is preaching today" so that was great because I had never heard his dad preach!!!!!

I always feel sooooo much better after church. I don't have a church HOME ducking as y'all throw stuff at me.............I will visit another friends church next week and we will see..................

After church a friend took me to lunch so we could catch up!!!! We sat at the bar while waiting for our table. I had the yummiest drink i've had in ages..................PINEAPPLE MOJITO..............CAN YOU SAY YUMMY?~?~? It was sooooooo good I had to have 2!!!!! Our food was really good and we just caught up!!!! We didn't talk at all about my job hunt.....that was good. We talked about lots of other things!!!!! I LOVE Shelly for that because she's the ONLY friend that NEVER brings up my unemployment!!!!!!!

Well I gotta go catch up on your blogs cause I only have ONE HOUR 2 BLOG!!!!!! Then i'm gonna do a lil spring cleaning......

HAVE A GREAT MONDAY!!!!!! I WILL!!!!!!!!

Saturday, March 18, 2006

IT'S ALL GOOD!!!!!

IT'S RAINING AGAIN!!!!!! it's all good!!!!

It started last night. It's supposed to rain ALL weekend!!!!! I just think of it as "the cleansing of Dee" I'm not tripping!!!! Last weekend it was making me sad...this weekend i'm thinking of it as a renewal so to speak and when it stops......I will be refreshed and brand new!!!!!

The boys are both feeling better!!! I made Harry stay home the rest of the week and he was/is pissed at me. Says I treat him like a baby!!!! "NEGRO YOU HAVE BRONCHITIS"!!!! I told him if he keeps giving me attitude he will be better instanly cause I will knock the bronchitis right outta his ass!!!!! YOU KNOW SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO GET REAL UGLY WITH A 13 YEAR OLD WHO IS "SMELLIN HIS SELF" as grandma would say................

We (me and Harry) were laying on the couch on Wednesday snugglin and watching a movie. (he's not a baby though....right???) Anyways I looked at him and he was crying.....

me: baby what's wrong?

Harry: mom i'm scared.

me: why??? Of what???

Harry: that you won't find another job and we will be hungry and get avicted....

me: baby you mean EVICTED!!!

Harry: yeah that

me: baby please don't worry!!! I will take care of everything!!!! Everything will work out!!!!! Have you ever been hungry before?

Harry: NO

me: what about avicted?????

Harry: mom that's not funny!!!!

me: don't worry baby we will be fine!!!! I promise...........now stop crying and lets finish our movie caus it's gettin good!!!!!

AT THAT MOMENT I FELT I HAVE TO CHANGE MY OUTLOOK ON THIS!!!! I AM PROJECTING MY WORRY AND FEAR ON TO MY SON!!!! THAT MADE ME FEEL REALLY BAD!!!!! HE SHOULD NOT BE EVEN THINKING ABOUT THEESE THINGS!!!!!

SO AT THAT MOMENT I DECIDED TO LET IT GO!!!!! I KNOW EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE!!!!! THE LAST THING I WANT IS FOR MY BOYS TO FEEL WHAT I WAS FEELING!!!!

HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND YOU GUYS!!!!! I WILL RAIN OR SHINE!!!!!!

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

Tuesdays goingz on!!!!

Hey.............

nothing much going on here!!!! I stayed in ALL weekend!!!! Lounged.

Today I have both boys home SICK!!!! I think Harry(youngest) may have pnuemonia...his cough is HORRIBLE!!!!! James(oldest) may have food poisoning.........They are BOTH sleep right now!!!! Harry has an appointment at 2:30. He started with this cough on Sunday. I kept him home yesterday. today it sounds AWFUL!!!!!

I found out today that I have insurance until the end of April.......yeah!!!! We ALL have appointments made!!!!! That is a blessing!!!!!!

Unemployment called today 2 ask more questions. She needed 2 know my last day of work because according to my former employer I was on admin. leave...............WHAT DA HELL?!?!?!?!?!?! sO I READ HER THE LETTER i GOT IN THE MAIL AND TOLD HER I WOULD FAX IT TO HER IF NEEDED!!!!

I feel if I work all my life and need unemployment I should get it!!!!!!

I finally watched the final episode of the flava fiasco!!!!! I'm glad hoopz won...........but i'm not sure if flav is a prize............LOL Hoopz is a cute gurl but she may need her head examined!!!!!!

I was watching the OPRAH 20th ANNIVERSARY dvd yesterday and Maya Angelou(I LOVE HER)
said that during difficult times you should say "thank you" because the harde times are what make you the person you are..............I thought WOW!!!!

That really stuck with me!!!!!! that is dificult 2 do.............I'm working on it!!!!!!

I'm trying to keep positive....once I hear from unemployment.......I will go on from there!!!!!!

I need some inspirational music........any suggestions? Any books you could send my way???


Saturday, March 11, 2006

RAIN RAIN GO AWAY................

RAIN RAIN PLEASE GO AWAY!!!!!!!

I HAVE NO MAN TO SNUGGLE UP WITH AND HAVE NAKED FUN!!!!

EVEN IF I DID I HAVE THE BOYS!!!!!! NO DAYTIME NAKED FUN IN THE DAYTIME!!!

IT'S COLD AS HELL!!!!
why do we say cold as hell???? hell is hot!!!!

I HAVE ON MY WARM P.J'S AND MY PINK WARM ROBE MY GRANDMA SENT ME...........AND I'M STILL COLD!!!!

I DON'T LIKE THUNDER AND LIGHTNING.........IT SCARES ME!!!

I JUST HAD A CUP OF MY FAVORITE TEA...........TAZO PASSION TEA.......YUMMY!!!!!

I HAVE THE OVEN ON AND OPEN.....THAT'S OLD SCHOOL!!!!

DID YOUR MOTHER DO THAT?????

OR IS THAT JUST A PROJECT/CHICAGO THANG???

I HAVE WATCHED ALL MY DVR'D SHOWS

THERE IS NOTHING ON T.V.

ALL THEESE DAM CHANNELS........ALL THE MONEY I PAY FOR CABLE..........

I JUST FINISHED FANTASIAS BOOK..........IT WAS O.K. I GUESS........I STILL HAVE NOT FORGIVEN HER FOR THAT DAM BABY MAMMA SONG.........I DID LIKE A COUPLE OF HER OTHER SONGS.........

I LOVE BOOT LEG CD'S........

NOT BOOT LEG MOVIES................

THE QUALITY IS GETTING BETTER!!!!!

SOMETIMES I MISS THE "LIAR"

HE ALWAYS GAVE US ALL THE LATEST MOVIES AND MUSIC.............THAT WAS HIS LITTLE SIDE HUSTLE............

I WOULD SEEL THEM 2 MY CO-WORKERS FOR $7 EVERYWHERE ELSE THEY ARE $10.............THAT BECAME MY LIL SIDE HUSTLE........

MAYBE I SHOULD HAVE HIM BRING ME SOME MOVIES................

NAH!!!!!!!! I CAN'T ASK HIM FOR SHIT!!!!!!

EXCEPT NAKED SHIT!!!!!

I MISS THAT EXTRA MONEY!!!!!!!

OH YEAH HE WAS GOOD FOR NAKED FUN ALSO!!!!

I HAD ANOTHER RELAPSE LAST WEEKEND!!!!

YES NIKKI I KNOW, I KNOW....................BUT IT WAS GOOOOOD!!!!

I AM GOING BACK AND ASSUME MY POSITION ON THE COUCH!!!!

I HOPE YOU ALL ARE HAVING A BETTER SATURDAY!!!!!!

Thursday, March 09, 2006

DAM I'm feeling OLD!!!!!!

My baby turned 18 yesterday!!!!!! Dam I feel OLD!!!!!

It seems like yesterday he was born..........TIME FLIES!!!!!!

We have a birthday tradition where the birthday boy pics his favorite place and we go for dinner. James had a game at 7 last night so I decided we would do lunch and have a heart to heart without the little nosey one!!!!! LOL My 13 year old is soooooo NOSEY!!!!!

I pick James up from school at 12:30..........he gets out early because he has all the credits he needs to graduate......we went to T.G.I.Fridays and have lunch and just talk............It was nice!!! I mean I always tlk with the boys but this was really nice cause it was just US!!!! I always try and give my boys individual time but it's hard with his work schedule and his "SOCIAL" life........

We ate and chit chatted about his future, how he feels about his dad. His role as the man of the house................(when my ex and I seperated before the divorce he told James he was the "man" of the house now. that really stuck) He takes it serious. I listened and felt really good!!!! I mean really good. I know there is still work to be done but at least a god foundation has been laid!!!! I was able to buy him a couple of outfits(yes he's a male version of me.....LOL) I also gave him a card with some lottery scratchers.........he couldn't wait to turn 18 and play lotto.........HE WON $116 AND TWO FREE TICKETS.............He said "MOM I SOULD GO TO THE CASINO. I'M LUCKY TODAY"

James is my ROCK at times.......he is an awesome son!!!! I sat down to write him a birthday letter........I wanted to remind him of my dreams for him and what adulthood/manhood really means!!!!

I want him to:

Respect himself and others
treat women like he would want me to be treated
be honest
be kind
stay true to himself
be considerate
be strong yet compassionate
be a hardworker
be the best man he can be...........................

THEN IT HIT ME...............................

HE IS ALL THOOSE THINGS!!!!!!!

I try not to get on the computer that much because "blogging" can consume HOURS if you let it!!!!!! Just because i'm home i don't want my WHOLE day to be spent on the computer..........

You all have a GREAT day!!!!!! I'm gonna try!!!!!

Monday, March 06, 2006

I AM IN LOVE WITH THE D.V.R...........

HAPPY MONDAY BLOG FAM!!!!

IN EFFORT TO GET MY MIND OFF OF MY TROUBLES..................

I WATCHED A SHITLOAD OF T.V.

THE FLAVA FLAV FIASCO:

What the hell??????? Are they SERIOUS???? They can't be serious!!!!! I recorded all the episodes and watched them!!!! I soooo love being able to fast foward thru commercials.............I hate watching things that are not recorded because I can't use the fast foward button...........LOL

T.V. ONE

This is a new........or new to me black cable network. They show good times, New York undercover, 227, Amen and other good shows.
They also have a bid whist show where celebs play bid whist for charity.
They have livin it up with Patti LaBelle which i LOVE.
A cooking show "tun up the heat with G.Garvin.......ooohhh he is soooo FINE!!!! And he can cook..............WOWSER!!!!

There are some other shows I can't remember the names of but they have me hooked............

HGTV

I am soooo hooked on this channel. All the decorating shows and design ideas keep my "creative juices flowin...........hmm what can I paint now??????

MTV'S THE SHOP

I can't really explain why I like this show..........I record it and watch later cause it comes on past my bedtime. LOL 10 or 10:30 on thursday nights........the barbers are hella funny and they have celebs roll thru and pretend to get haircuts!!!!! bobby brown came by and had the female barber take his braids out.........WTH???? I remember on one episode she said "i'm a barber i don't do conrows" maybe that didn't include taking braids out...........or maybe different rules apply to celebs..........i dunno!!!!

MTV'S WILD N OUT

I'm not really sure why i like this one so much either but i do..............It cracks me up at hte end where they do the "wild style" where the comics battle rap......it's cute!!!!

THE BEST SHOW BY FAR THIS WEEKEND WAS "DMC MY ADOPTION JOURNEY"

Big thank you to Ms. Nikki for blogging about it!!!!!!
It was great...... It showed DMCS journey to finding his birth mother. Wow!!!!! I just sat going through all the emotions with him.................It was great.........I cried buckets of tears...................


My youngest son had a game on Saturday the playoffs. They WON!!!!! Yeah!!!! They then went on to the finals which we just knew we would not win.........the team we were playing had beat, no WHOOPED us 3 times.............so we were just going to be happy getting 2nd place trophys...........guess what????? Sunday we WON!!!!!! 36-10!!!!!! YEAH!!!!!!!

The look on the kids faces was worth every late practice and giving up every saturday afternoon!!!!!!!!

Friday, March 03, 2006

Friends........how many of us have them??????

I talked with one of my best gurls as I do everyday since my suspension/termination. I told her I was having a HORRIBLE day!!! You know what she said?????????

"Enough Dee GET OVER IT!! THE PITY PARTY IS OVER"

ME: CRYING YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND!!

gurlfriend: I more than understand.........i'm tired of hearing you like this

me: oohh!!! But i'm going thru it!!!

gurlfriend: no you've gone thru it!! It's over!!!!

me: Wow

gurlfriend: That's what REAL friends do!!!! They give it 2 you real!!!!!!

Thank you guys but my gurl in Atlanta says NO MORE!!!!!

Thursday, March 02, 2006

I'm just TIRED!!!!

Hey blog fam........

I appreciate all the support. all the kind words and comments from people I have never laid eyes on.......that is great.......I haven't cried in about 3 days....................that's good..........today I am filled with tears!!!!

In six days, my first born will turn 18. I had plans to take him and a few of his closest friends to dinner to celebrate. I can't because i don't have a job..........

I was able to pay my rent today and for this i am happy, grateful but after the check clears and I buy a few groceries, insurance and utilites, I will have no more money!!!

ex-husband knows of my situation and do you think he sent $5 extra dollars???????

I am embarassed to tell my family........only my mom and brother know!!!!! I'm tired of the "oh poor dee, the single mamma pity party"

I still feel guilty about boss lady getting fired also..........GUILT CONSUMES ME!!!!!

I am angry that I have to endure this alone..............

I don't want to be strong anymore!!!!!!!!!!! I have been strong since 17 when i left my moms house!!!!

I was strong when I became a young wife, then a young mom!!!!

I was strong when my youngest was born 3 months premature and spent the 1st 6 months of his life in the hospital.......

I was strong when all i wanted 2 do was visit the hospital and it almost ruined my marriage!!!!

I was strong when my ex-husband was out to sea and i was alone raising kids and the car broke down!!!!

I was strong when I took several buses to get to nursing school cause my ex was 2 dam proud 2 get a ride 2 the base when we only had one car!!!! And ALL of our neighbors were going to the base!!!!

I was strong when i found out my then husband fathered a child..........

I was strong when we seperated.........

I was strong through the divorce that he filed for in another state so that I could not get to court..............

I have been strong all my adult life....................

NOW I'M TIRED!!!!!! JUST TIRED!!!!!!!!!!

Not tired like I would commit suicide or anything.............just tired of being so dam strong............tired like I want help, not from my family cause that is a given...........Family is always here to help!!!! I would like help like someone here to say "Dee it's gonna be o.k" and kiss me ever so gentle................rub my back.........and tell me it's gonna be o.k.